The Season 5 premiere of Game of Thrones held so much promise for its key players! So many power grabs were on the table — it was anyone's game. Flash-forward to season's end, when even the richest, most powerful players in Westeros were either dead, or left with almost nothing to live for. Nothing, that is, except sweet, sweet revenge. With Season Six kicking off on Sunday, who will Here's a non-exhaustive ranking of who needs to kill/maim/imprison who to get some justly-deserved vengeance in Season Six:
10. Brandon Stark
We didn't see Bran at all during Season Five. (In fact, I think his name was mentioned just twice, in a single conversation wherein Theon confesses to Sansa that those two crispy bacon bodies he strung up at Winterfell didn't actually belong to her brothers. No one talked about him besides that) Also, he's basically a tree now. What even is this storyline, and moreover, what did Bran do to deserve it? Someone needs to pay for making clear what we all felt in our hearts: no one actually gives a shit about Bran.
The Hitlist: George RR Martin, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss
9. Daenerys Targaryen
For most of the season, Dany was on a queenly self-improvement quest. Things in Meereen were looking up (at least, compared to the cities she razed to the ground on the way there). But the Sons of the Harpy weren't having that shit! Daenerys literally had to fly away to escape their kill-spree. Now she's stranded in bumblefuck with a broken dragon, spotty cell service, and the company of what looks like a hostile Khalasar. No idea if she'll be in the position to exact revenge anytime soon, but someone's gonna have to answer for slicing up Drogon and ruining her flossy fighting pit outfit.
The Hitlist: Sons of the Harpy
8. Arya Stark
Arya's been super proactive in whittling down that list of names she whispers to herself before bed every night, but last season it almost seemed she was ready to leave the past behind. She was living her best minimalist life in Braavos — selling cockles, mercy killing children, etc. Then Meryn Trant showed up and the vengeful Arya we know and love reemerged to slit his child-fucking throat. On one hand, Jaqen H'ghar punished Arya for taking a life that wasn't hers to take by blinding her (a pretty powerful motivator for chilling out on the revenge tip). On the other, she only has three people left to kill! Why stop now?
The Hitlist: Cersei, Walder Frey, The Mountain
7. Sansa Stark
Sansa's been played out by so many assholes, her name may as well be "Swag." But in Season 5, no one's screwed her more — literally and figuratively — than her POS husband, the newly-minted Ramsay Bolton. If we assume she survived her jump off of the tower and can somehow promote Reek back to human status, there's no way she's not returning to Winterfell with Littlefinger and Theon, guns blazing.
The Hitlist: The entire Bolton bloodline
6. Sir Davos
In one fell swoop, Melisandre took out the entire Stannis clan with her trash magic and shitty judgment. Now Davos will never finish learning to read.
The Hitlist: The Red Succubus
5. Jaime Lannister
Man. Jaime finally got to live his dad truth for two seconds before his daughter Marcella died in his arms. Did the Sand Snakes really think this one through? Because Bron, Honorary Medical Examiner, is gonna know exactly what went down when he sees Marcella's bloody coke nose. And Trystane Martell is currently alone on a ship with Bron and Jaime, so again I ask, what? Why'd y'all go there?
The Hitlist: Those snake-ass Sand Snakes
4. Margaery Tyrell
Girl is done playing passive aggressive with the Queen Mother. Cersei outed Margaery's brother (uncool) and got both Tyrell siblings locked up in the sept all because her son — the freaking King — was finally ready to stop breastfeeding from her teat. Worst mother-in-law ever.
The Hitlist: Illegitimate Queen Mother Cersei Lannister
3. Theon Greyjoy/Reek
Like all good Americans, I think Theon is human garbage. But I feel for Reek. I can't decide if Theon has paid penance for his sins, but goddamn. I can barely look at this shell of a man anymore. If Reek wants to become even 30% Theon again, he first must murder Ramsay Bolton with his bare hands (does he still have those?).
The Hitlist: Reek's bastard master
2. Jon Snow
We don't know Jon Snow is alive, but here's what we do know:
- Jon Snow is a warg who can enter the body of his ride-or-direwolf Ghost
- Thoros of Myr, a Red Priest, resurrected Beric Dondarrion like, seventeen times.
Melisandre is a Red Priestess (albeit a shitty one, given her latest judgment calls), and she was at Castle Black when the Night's Watch stabbed the crap out of Jon Snow. If Davos holds off on shanking Melisandre, she may be able to save Snow. And if she does, he needs to get revenge on his boys in black. That shit was fucked up.
The Hitlist: Pretty much every sworn brother of the Night's Watch. And I'll say it, Jon should off Ollie first. Kid has no loyalty.
1. Cersei Lannister
Cersei, per usual, has sooo many enemies. At the beginning of Season 5, she merely wanted Tyrion dead and Margaery…well, probably dead. Now, she's got a religious horde of enemies, led by the righteous High Sparrow. You know, the guy who made her atone for her incest sins by walking nude from the sept to the Red Keep while all of King's Landing tossed rice and feces and Sevens knows what else at her?
It's one of the most memorable scenes of the season — Cersei even shows human emotion for one second before returning to the castle and meeting the newest member of the King's Guard, Zombie Mountain, who's ready to kill anyone who's given Cersei shit. Which at this point, is basically everyone.
The Hitlist: Tyrion, Margaery, The High Sparrow, possibly Uncle Kevin, definitely Lancel. At some point, Cersei should probably get revenge on Lady Olenna and Littlefinger, the power couple who coordinated both the death of King Joff and her own imprisonment. (But I hope not, love that dream team!)