Gabrielle Union Is Not a Vampire (and Other Rumors Debunked by the Stars of Top Five)

by Gabrielle Union, Jay Pharoah and J.B. Smoove
We asked three stars of Top Five, Chris Rock's uproarious cringe-fest about the constrictions of fame, to work up some top fives of their own. While the top fives within the movie all concern the greatest rappers (do not miss Jerry Seinfeld's quintessentially white contribution in the closing credits), we wanted to hear about the the most cuckoo-bananas things Gabrielle Union, Jay Pharoah and J.B. Smoove have learned about themselves on the Internet.

Top Five Weirdest Things Gabrielle Union Has Read About Herself Online
  1. I've had a nose job.
  2. I'm pregnant (every couple months this happens).
  3. I'm a vampire.
  4. I'm Garcelle Beauvais, Ashanti or Brandy.
  5. I don't really like Red Lobster... I live for Red Lobster.

Top Five Weirdest Things Jay Pharoah Has Read About Himself Online
  1. I'm in the Illuminati.
  2. I'm a cokehead.
  3. I have a girlfriend in Pasadena, CA.
  4. Michael Blackson, Lamorne Morris (New Girl) and I are the same person.
  5. And I'm from Chicago and apparently was part of Second City.

Top Five Things JB Smoove Would Change About His Wikipedia Page
  1. JB did not appear in the movie Frankenhood. Despite what you've heard and even if you saw him in it, according to JB he was not in that movie.
  2. JB copyrighted the phrase "Kiss my ass!" and earns a royalty every time it is used.
  3. For several years in the '90s, JB listed "Ruckus Deliverer" as his occupation on his income tax.
  4. In 2008 JB was asked by then-candidate Barack Obama to be his vice presidential running mate but had to decline because he was already committed to his second season on Curb Your Enthusiasm. JB does not regret his decision.
  5. JB was only half born in Plymouth, North Carolina; his other half was born in Money Earnin' Mount Vernon! Which is also the title of a song by one of his top five favorite rappers of all time, Heavy D.

Subscribe to Get More