The news of consummate goblin-graverobber/crime show host Nancy Grace's bow-out from her homebase of HLN this October sent shockwaves through the internet, with people both celebrating the end of her puritanical reign, and mourning the end of her morbid, truly unbelievable hashtags.

#BodyInDesert

#BabyInDryer

#VodkaMom

#TotOnCarRoof

#BabyInTrash

#HackedToDeath

...just a few in a long, grand tradition of glory-horror.

No one seemed more thrilled to hear of Grace's departure, however, than New York writer/comedian/ my new personal hero, Mary Cella, who confirmed the longstanding rumors that Ms. Grace is an absolute tarantula nightmare to work for.

Mary began with a more opaque celebratory statement:

Me rn pic.twitter.com/AAX28Y8cBo
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

Then got a liiiiittle more specific:

I'm celebrating Nancy Grace's departure from HLN by stomping on her headshot while wearing the shoes she threw at me one time.
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

But first I'll hide in my cubicle, shaking in fear and sobbing uncontrollably for old time's sake!
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

The wrath of Nancy is pure and true!

Mary continued...

Maybe I'll cap off the evening by finally going to the orgy she once asked me, in front of the whole staff, if I'd be attending after work.
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

OOP.

KEEP. IT. GOING.

I think I'll also finally bring her the box of tissues she screamed at me about once, light them on fire and leave them on her doorstep.
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

Honestly, if I saw Nancy, I'd wish her well, except I wouldn't recognize her because she looks like a blank sheet of paper without makeup.
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

SSSSSSSSSSSSSIZZLE.

So many people have contacted me about Nancy today that I feel like I still work for her/haven't opened the blinds in my apartment in a year
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

PNTSD (Post Nancy Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Tweeting about a former employer like this may not be classy, but I've seen Nancy eat her weight in waffles after 6pm, so it feels fair.
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

Waffle demon.

She signed, sealed, and delivered it with this equally tragic, and truly "wow" conclusion:

My mother died a month before I started working for Nancy and still the worst day of my life was just a random Thursday working for her.
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 30, 2016

Mary, we are truly speechless, and bow down to you.

#NancyGotTrounced