Elliot Page came out as trans in December 2020, telling the world that he felt lucky to have “arrived at this place” in his life. After living as a trans man for a year and a half now, the Umbrella Academy star is sharing a deeper look at his life and how much joy he’s found in living his truth.
“What have I learned from transitioning?” he wrote in a new story for Esquire. “I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself. I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself. It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn’t feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out.”
Page also shared that he expected the reaction to him coming out as trans to be mixed, but he never saw it being the big deal that it was. “In terms of the actual quality of the response, it was what I expected: love and support from many people and hatred and cruelty and vitriol from so many others,” he wrote, adding, “Transphobia is just so, so, so extreme. The hatred and the cruelty is so much more incessant.”
Though Page had been active in LGBTQ+ causes prior to coming out as trans, he’s taken the opportunity to use his platform even more to fight for the protection of trans people. He’s been vocal about protecting trans youth, especially, knowing how hard this country makes it for trans people to exist.
“I feel emerging joy and excitement one moment, and then in the next, profound sadness reading about people wanting to take gender-affirming health care away from children,” Page told Vanity Fair in April 2021. “I feel so grateful to be at this place in my life, and I want to use the strength I have to help in all the ways that I can. How can I feel grateful for my joy, and embrace my joy, and allow myself to have that joy — but then put that joy and that love into action?"
It’s something he’s continuously working on — fighting for trans rights, and sharing his joys and using his platform to make noise are just two of the ways he’s getting there.
Photo via Getty/ Emma McIntyre