R.I.P. me, because there's a new app that lets you archive all your past relationships in what is likely the most counter-intuitive way of attempting to move on with your life.
Appropriately dubbed Shryne, it low-key stalks the absolute last person you want to ever see again and conveniently dedicates some precious phone storage to them until "you're ready." Basically it acts as a scrapbook for all those texts, tweets, grams, emails and posts y'all ever exchanged/shared...you know, just in case you want to revisit that one time you guys went to the combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell together. Yep, the person you ditched for a reason will now be saved for you until you're "over it" -- which we all know is something even more difficult to quantify than your freelancer taxes.
Seriously what kind of masochist do you have to be to want a scrapbook of all the times some semi-relevant scrub made you a Soundcloud mix? I, for one, relish avoiding every place we've ever frequented together in an attempt to DIY Eternal Sunshine, like every other normal person who coincidentally "ducks into the bathroom" when they see their ex.