I shop at Target. To be quite honest, I love the place! There's something deeply comforting about the $1 section full of mason jars and stickers right by the entrance, the racks of cutesy iPhone cases and chargers in Electronics, the enormous plastic jugs of mixed nuts and cheese puffs for sale right across from the sequined tween clothing, the reliably just-behind-trend shoe section. I own a diverse collection of Xhilaration original pieces. I don't advertise this, because it feels notably uncool to be a grown-up adult woman buying her lingerie at Target.
However, my days of shame and hiding are behind me. Last night, Beyoncé was spotted strutting down the aisle of a Los Angeles Target. She looked regal, proud and unapologetic, in a peach pantsuit, loose curls and slanty sunglasses, gliding past packs of mineral water, shelves of kitchen appliances and crates of Pampers.
The fact that Beyoncé, notable very rich person, would risk annoying encounters with the paparazzi and and lolling open-mouthed cashiers, just to retrieve some women's multi-vitamins, an LED hoverboard or some AirPods, truly demonstrates a recognition of Target's singular merits and magnetism.
Emboldened by Bey's unapologetic embrace of Target ringing through the internet, I finally feel free to walk its aisles and flaunt my 5 for 25 microfiber undies and knock-off Keds with pride. Truly, a monumental day for Target stans (i.e. moms, college freshman and budgeting NYC twenty-somethings) everywhere!
The only question that remains is, what was Bey shopping for? Twitter is, of course, wildly speculating about whether it was a toy for Sir and Rumi, the pampers featured in the shot, or perhaps some travel-size toiletries. Chrissy Teigen (ignorant that Beyoncé obviously wanted the full Target experience) offered to send over some of her exclusive Target cookware:
But their speculations are futile. To quote a meme that was dropped on Teigen's Twitter, "You don't go to Target because you need something. You go to Target, and let Target tell you what you need."