Dear Mr. Mickey,
I'm a lanky twink from Manchester who's leaving the North for the brighter lights of faggy Old London Town. I'm apprehensive about the move, and I was wondering if you had any advice. I know you visit our capitol often, so I was wondering if you could, as they say, hook me up. Hot Toddy
Yes, Mr. Mickey must say that London is the hotspot for the girly boys of all nations. It's hard for a hardcore New Yorker like MM to leave behind the Puerto Rican hotties of the Bronx, but luckily the U.K. has truckloads of sexy young Commonwealth cuties! (Boy, does London ever put the "bang" back into Bangladesh!) MM likes to lounge around the lobby of the Carlton Tower Hotel, which is where lots of the VIPs from Dubai like to hang out. MM holds an Hermes scarf over his face and bats his eyelashes as the sheiks go by, giving off a real hotsy-totsy gay-harem look that drives the Dubai dudes mad with desire. But you should avoid the Carlton because that's MM's territory. Maybe try the men's room at Harrods. Since MM is a Harvey Nichols gay, that way we won't step on each other's toes.