With Halloween less than a week away, all you boys and ghouls out there who haven't decided on your costume yet are probably starting to get the panic sweats. Good. FEAR IS YOUR ALLY. Pretty soon, the only thing left in costume shops will be matted George Washington wigs and flame retardant Legs Avenue lederhosen and you will not be able to find a tube of black drugstore lipstick in this town for love or money. "Oh, I'll just be Eleven, or Ken Bone, or one of those people who just shows up to the party with a "nosebleed" and calls it a day, or better yet, I'll just go as myself." No. Hell no. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT AND WE WANT TO SEE YOU SHINE.
But it's OK, it's all gonna be OK. You can come back off the ledge Halloween procrastinators, because we have your back. Below is a list of 100 absolutely flawless DIY Halloween costume ideas that are guaranteed to make you the celebrity of your subway car and the toast of every house party bathroom line. All you need is a glue gun and a dream.
Satan: The College Years
Six Figure Goblin
The Class Hamster
Gutter Punk Merman
Parents at a Water Park
Pile of Bras
Rumpled Quilt Skin
A Fuckin' Poser
"She's a Juggalo Now"
New Jack Swing
Couples Costume: Face/Off
The Early Internet
The Elephant Lamp from The Breakfast Club that Made Brian Try to Kill Himself
Warlock on a Cruise
The Last 4 Digits Of Your Social Security Number
Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks
One of Those Really Rough Looking Pigeons
The Bust of Lionel Richie the Blind Girl Makes in the "Hello" Video
Couples Costume: The Eyes of Steve Buscemi
Acoustic Raver (Raver Bob Dylan)
Ebay: The Costume
Destiny's Feral Child
"Don't Trust Gary"
A Connecticut W.A.S.P. Wasp
Couples Costume: The Sobe Lizard and The Snapple Lady
"Look at that Little Pumpkin Man"
A Tree In An Elementary School Play
The Goddess of Pizza
Juice Fast Zombie
Cockroach with a Heart Of Gold
Basic Ass Witch
The Pumpkin Spice Predator
The Molé People
Three Kids Sitting On Each Others Shoulders In A Large Trench Coat Pretending To Be One Adult
Pink Eye for the Straight Guy
My So Called Face
The Headless, Bodyless Horseman
The Phantom of the Starbucks
New England Clown Chowder
Goth Yearbook Photo
Cinnamon Ghost Crunch
Couples Costume: "I'M MAD I TELL YOU" and "I'M NOT CRAZY YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME"
Cuba Badding Sr.
"The Call is Coming From Inside My Butt"
The Blair Witch's Fun Friend
Beatnik on Safari
Thomas the (drunk) Tank Engine
Dora the (drunk) Explorer
The Emancipation of Mimi
"The Doctor is his Mother"
Group Costume: Eight Maids A Milkin'
Soup Plantation (a southern belle covered in soup)
Gwyneth Paltrow Accepting the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love
Misunderstood Teenage Alien
Benedict Cumberbatch (goes to hell)
Group Costume: When George W. Bush Goes to Sleep, His Paintings Come To Life