The Bunny Report: "I’ve Been Wearing Turtlenecks for the Past Six Months, as My Spring/Summer Look Was 'Winter.'"

Jordan Kinney

So I had to move into my new apartment this week -- totes unfun. However, in amassing my large, somewhat eclectic wardrobe (lots of fur, lots of neon) for purposes of East River migration (farewell, L train!), I scrounged up this gem of a turtleneck and reintroduced her to society. Not only is she cornflower blue (such an underutilized color), but she has a CHEESEBURGER on the back! Now, I’m not a meateater (save for fried chicken and bacon because, hello), but I think cheeseburger imagery is truly the stuff of highbrow comedy. Also, as many of my peers can attest to, I love a good turtleneck. They’re kind of sleek and artistic (i.e. fey) and yet also kind of stupid-looking, which I find a fair and accurate conglomeration of most of my own personal style choices! They also mask my pencil neck (totally secure about that, BTW) and provide warmth in any given wintry night (or… summery day, as is more often the case with myself). In truth, I’ve been wearing turtlenecks for the past six months, as my spring/summer look was “winter." Now, as fall befalls the city, I am at a watershed -- genuflecting to the fashion gods (Gianni, Isabel, Mr. Rogers, etc.) for guidance. Shall I retire the neck cozies for like, crop tops and hot shorts or whatever -- uh, you know, what normal boys wear in the sweaty cosmo summer heat -- so as to complete my new winter look? Stay tuned, y’all!

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