Best Drunk Bitches in an Elevator Video: This one of Reese Witherspoon gettin' all Southern Miss on Cara Delevingne, whose last name is hard to pronounce, y'all! Zoe Deschanel is like 'wut.' -- Elizabeth Thompson

Tonight Show Clip of the Week: This one. B Cranst doesn't know what a "badonkadonk" is but god damnit is he charming. -- T.C.M.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO of the Week: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. CLICK IF YOU DARE. (We warned you.) -- T.C.M.

Best Reason to Spend $5:
Donate 5 bucks to Logo series Eastisiders' Kickstarter and submit a drag name for Willem Belll's character, Douglas. May we submit our favorite drag name, Panty Rose? -- E.T.

Most Exciting Art Opening of the Week (Sorry, Frieze):
Red Hot, a show dedicated to sexy gingers. More where this came from HERE. -- Abby Schreiber

Best Holiday Commercial Edited with One Extra Shot of the Week: EVERYBODY NOW -- ♫♫The best part of wakin' up, is Folgers in your cup♫♫ -- T.C.M.

Best Dog GIF of the Week: This one. If I was a dog, I'd be this dog. GOOD BOY. -- T.C.M.

Best New Summer Dance Jam: Priyanka Chopra's "I Can't Make You Love Me." The song is insanely catchy and Priyanka gets bonus points for envy-inducing hair game in the video, above. -- A.S.