The 5 Types of People We Can't Escape At SXSW

text and illustrations by Eli Yudin

The Mannequin

The mannequin bought a full outfit from Free People just for the occasion. You'll find her standing in front of some sort of interesting graffiti, the Torchy's Taco truck or a classic brick wall, smoking Marlboro Lights. Don't let her aloof demeanor fool you, she's using every neuron in her brain to will that Teen Vogue street style photographer to walk by and snap a pic.

The Bored Guy

You'll most likely see this guy hanging around the back, checking his phone and sighing. He has all the energy of a homecoming chaperone, regardless of who's on stage. It may look like he's here on community service, but we all know that he must have paid hundreds of dollars for tickets. What a curious fellow!

The Guy Who Tries to Go to Every Show

The amount of bands performing is simply staggering. But that won't stop this guy from trying to see every single one of them. You can find him furiously cross-referencing a festival map (that looks like it's been through a World War) against his phone, muttering about the "12-minute walk from the Mohawk to the Doritos Locos showcase..."

The Casanova

These guys are here for one reason and one reason only: they saw a photo of people having sex in the crowd, and thought, "that could be me." The bands they're going to see are based less on their familiarity or appreciation, and more on which bands "chicks are all over." Despite everything, at least one of your friends is probably going to end up making out with him while rolling.
The Star of a TV Show You Don't Watch

Based on his impeccably-tailored clothes, perfectly-coiffed hair, and how you've seen him taking pictures with people, clearly this guy's a celebrity but you don't for the life of you know from where. It's up to you whether you live with your uncertainty or ask someone and risk looking like some out-of-touch grandparent. HINT: It's probably the guy from Grimm.

Subscribe to Get More