Photo by Stephanie Jarstad

Collectively, we must have been the absolute worst because this year Santa has cursed us all with "lumbersexuals." Despite the misleading name, a lumbersexual is not one who enjoys woodland coitus or straight up fucking trees. He's actually something far worse. The lumbersexual is the real life version of a Nick Offerman character. Ranging from "metrojack" to "advanced lumbersexual," the general gist of the look is brute masculinity signifiers with a dose artisanal twee and earth-tone Patagonia parkas. According to various lumbersexual experts, "he looks like a man of the woods, but works at The Nerdery, programming for a healthy salary and benefits. His backpack carries a MacBook Air, but looks like it should carry a lumberjack's axe." Basically, he's another mutation of the alt-bro that we've been complaining about for years. Now, he's back with a vengeance and a twist: tiny, festive beard ornaments. Enjoy or cringe at these holiday-ready lumbersexuals from "The Twelve Beards of Christmas," a photo project that somehow supports men's health and prostate cancer awareness, below.

See the rest of Stephanie Jarstad's photos here.