Taylvin/Swarris is no more???

15 months ago, a business woman named Taylor Swift started dating a peasant DJ named Calvin Harris. They were an odd pairing but love knows no income bracket.

There's reportedly no bad blood. Calvin, 32, is now free to live his life dj-ing shirtless in Ibiza or whatever he does. And Taylor, 25, will continue being Taylor: Totally Amazing Young Lovely Opalescent and Random. For me, the five stages of post-Taylin grief have been biased in Taylor's favor, looking something like this:

1. Denying Calvin Harris' existence

Calvin who????

2. Anger

*Pretends I'm Kelis in "Caught Out There"*

3. Bargaining

If only I, personally, could have warned Taylor about this fuckboy, even though I don't know Taylor personally.

4. Depressed AF

So sad today.

5. Acceptance

I hope Calvin knows a good therapist and bodyguard.

(h/t People Magazine)