American treasure and reformed meatball cyclone of messy, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, has just released her inaugural swan dive into music, with the auto-tuned shitshow hip-house track "Yung Mommy."
Snooki, a married mother of two, recounts her Jersey Shore days of pArTyInG. "Late nights getting reckless with JWoww, Sammy, and Ronnie."
Things changed, though, when Snickers met her gorilla meat mound, Jionni LaValle, and promptly got preggy (with son Lorenzo, followed by daughter Giovanna); they live a quiet life in the Northern New Jersey suburbs.
"Now I got my own series on YouTube!" Snook boasts, "now I'm spending these checks on baby food."
Ham to her.
She ends the song with the immortal line, "It's all love 'cause I'm a proud momma/shot out to my son and daughter, Lorenzo and Giovanna."
The haters will have their fun roasting our fair Snooks, but she's laughing all the way to the meatball bank.