John Waters could give a hilarious, withering, air-tight soundbite in his sleep (just peruse our Waters tag for years of deeply entertaining Q&As with him here), so who better to deliver a commencement speech to our nation's youth than the Prince of Puke? This weekend, Waters delivered the commencement at RISD, and though he was kicked out of college for a marijauana scandal, he's just the person to be sending out nation's creative youth out into the the dark, dark real world. Per Waters on his commencement-giving credentials: "Somehow, I've been able to make a living doing what I best for 50 years without ever having to get a real job." Listen to this man, kids. Watch above for more life advice and fabulous bon mots from Waters above.