We all know that Valentine's Day is at best a Big Chocolate cash grab, and at worst an Anne Hathaway movie, so let's just skip the bullshit here. If you really love your significant other, you shouldn't clutter their lives with teddy bears and cheap lingerie and Kay diamonds and tacky roses. If you're going to buy them anything at all, it should be something thoughtful, something truly useful. Something along the lines of... oh, I don't know, a 1 oz bouquet made of the dankest artisanal weed California has to offer?

THIS CAN HAPPEN. If you're in the Los Angeles area, you can surprise your sweetie with a $400 bouquet made of 1oz of organic Purple Princess cannabis flower stems, aromatic eucalyptus, and wildflowers all grown in the most Portlandia manner possible at Lowell Farms in fabulous northern California. There are 500 available, and they even offer a Valentine's Day delivery service to add that extra element of surprise to the purple princess in your life.

Roses Are Red

Clouds Are Grey

I got you a 1 oz weed bouquet