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Kool A.D. -- formerly one-half of Das Racist -- has always had a lyrical penchant for semi-serious jokes. Although the rapper has since struck out on his own, a line from Das Racist's Sit Down, Man still holds true: "We're not joking, just joking, we are joking, just joking, we're not joking."

Kool A.D. has since put on his "serious author" hat to pen a slim pamphlet, aptly titled Joke Book -- which was published by the Brooklyn-based press Sorry House, last year. The book's short, tweet-like quips are divided into two sections, Sky Mall/Barf Bag/Smart Phone and The Internet/Jazz/Feelings. Together they comprise Kool A.D.'s delightfully absurd theory of life and for the first time, the book is available to read in full online.

But if TL;DR is your life motto, we've compiled our favorite aphorisms, axioms, and general words of wisdom (that he undoubtedly gets from his beard) from Joke Book, below.

1." WHAT IF BOOKS NOT BOMBS AND FOOD NOT BOMBS GOT TOGETHER AND WERE JUST 'NOT BOMBS'?"

2. "The barf bag reminds us of our natural inclination to remain on the ground."

3. "Is the word "Revolution" tired rhetoric from a ideology incompatible with the real world or is that what THEY want you to think?"

4. "No disrespect, but isn't writing books kind of for white people?"

5. "Being starved for attention is one of the most American things."

6. "Hoping that one day you will become rich without having to do anything is another American thing."

7. "IF SHE ROLLS HER EYES AT YOU IT DOES NOT MEAN TRY HARDER IT MEANS GIVE UP."

8. "EVERY TIME YOU GO TO MCDONALD'S WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT, A PART OF YOU IS SAYING 'FUCK IT.'"

9. "WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS 'EVERYTHING THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD' I USUALLY THINK: 'WHO CARES?'"

10. "HOW CAN U B URSELF AND STILL GET MONEY AND STUFF OR WHATEVER?"



Read the rest of Joke Book on Medium.