NYC resident Mario Licato was simply walking up an F trains subway stairwell in Manhattan's Lower East Side on Saturday, when a man randomly punched him the face, sending him flying down the flight of stairs and losing consciousness.

Licato says as he tumbled down into a blackout, the man--described as a "mid 20s, 6 ft to 6 ft 3, and muscular, like a frat boy"--shouted "This is because you look like Shia LeBeouf.

by Megan Adamson-Jackes, via Gothamist

What kind of bad cocaine hell????

When Licato came to, he was covered in blood, and being ushered into an ambulance, where an EMT proceeded to condescendingly say, "Welcome to New York, buddy."

Mario, who was born and raised in the city, appropriately told the EMT to go fuck himself.

Here's the official police write up of this insane incident:

from NYPD, via Gothamist

The real question is, how can Shia turn this story into #art?

In the meantime, I think it's finally OK to begin a campaign to permanently ban frat bros from the five boroughs of New York.

Let's begin the motion!