Mr. Mickey's Fitness Diary: "I Did My Best to Strike a Seductive Pose While Drenched in Sweat"

by Mickey Boardman

Current weight: 237
Starting weight: 241
Height: 5'7

Those of us who fight the battle of the bulge are a bit notorious for looking for excuses to go off the diet and fitness program and I'm guilty of doing that because of Fashion Month. Fashion Weeks in NYC, London and Paris got me off the exercise kick (although, coming back from Paris, despite gobbling up candy bars and pomme frites, I had lost 2 lbs. Yay!) I did watch what I ate a bit and the food is just better there.

Coming back, I tried to get right back into the saddle at SoulCycle but that took me a little longer than anticipated. I have to admit that the first class I went to in over three weeks nearly killed me. I was panting and cramping and schvitzing and losing my mind but I did make it through alive. I think it was Nietzsche or Kelly Clarkson who said, 'What doesn't destroy us, makes us stronger." And that certainly is the case with SoulCycle. That craziness wrecks me and I love it.

I've really been going to a lot of SoulCycle classes with instructor Ben T., the sexy straight who also teaches meditation or some eastern thing and Emily T. who teaches the '80s class and in general is my favorite. There have been more men at the classes I go to lately and one day a hot, muscley, hairy dude seemed to be checking me out regularly. Now I was lifting and squeezing and bending and flexing all while pedaling the bike my feet were locked into. Not exactly the most fetching of poses but I did my best to strike a seductive pose while drenched in sweat. Later I realized he was checking HIMSELF out in the mirror behind me. Still, it brought an added splash of excitement to that class.

Earlier in this fitness diary series I mentioned that I felt like Laraine Newman in the movie Perfect. She was the sweet and quirky girl at the fitness center who was desperate for dick and wasn't really in superstar shape like Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm now proud to say that I feel like Marilu Henner, who was the next step up on the food chain. I can adjust my bike by myself and can kind of do all the moves, although I'm far from a pro.

Speaking of movies I felt like I was in one today. Emily T. was teaching and my sidekick Jamie and I were warming up when in walked a kid who could have been me in 1993. I don't wear my glasses so everything is totally a blur but this kid was perky and had his long hair in a little bun and was wearing super tight hot pants and a tank top that fit like a baby tee. Everyone else wears a very standard non-descript look so this kid stuck out like a fabulous sour thumb. Like me at that age he was kinda skinny but not lean and had a lil tummy. Well Mr. Man went wild during class. He shook his hair out of the bun while pedaling and threw those tresses around. He danced. He followed his own rhythm. He had fun and worked his tuchas. It was fun to see someone who listens to the beat of his own drum in an exercise class that can seem intimidating to a clowny type like me.

Meanwhile I have a new crush on SoulCycle's own Lenny. How cute is he? He's not a teacher.... yet. I told Lenny once he's an instructor I'll move up to the front row and be his biggest groupie. Fingers crossed I'm up to Jamie Lee Curtis or at least John Travolta level in Perfect by that time!

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