Here's a video for a song titled "I Just Want to Ride Bikes With You," made by a woman named Jacquelyn for her husband Todd as "a wedding video surprise." And though it was probably created with complete, googly-eyed, mind-warping love for Todd (and, therefore, a regrettable misunderstanding of what happens when you publicly share something on the Internet or tweet it to the Huffington Post's wedding section), there's not enough barf in the world for this video. This video has caused a world-wide barf shortage. Call the president, say "Code Barf" and hang up. Unfortunately, it has been taken off of YouTube since SHIFT posted it yesterday evening, but Gawker has the original and someone was kind of enough to re-post this bootlegged version for historical record. When your grandchildren ask you about the Great Barf Drought of 2012, you'll have this to show them. Update: There's a better quality version back on YouTube, which we've embedded above, via Dlisted.






Which brings us to your new favorite move death scene ever. Can someone, anyone, please, please edit out the woman in this clip and add in the most horrifying parts of "I Just Want to Ride Bikes With You"? PLEASE. THERE IS NO TIME. DO THIS NOW. YOU'LL BE A HERO. [Reddit]



Betty White looking FOYNE. [Reddit]



RomRy make out sesh. [Jezebel]



Also: This is the only "Mitt Loves Ann" spoof you need to see. [BobbyFinger]



Ahhhh, Pitch Perfect is opening today! Buzzfeed has a good list of reasons to see it. (As if 2012 PAPER Beautiful Person Rebel motherf*cking Wilson wasn't enough of a reason.)



It's titled "Revenge of Bob Ross." [ThisIsntHappiness]




Here's a new teaser for Liz & Dick, in which Lindsay Lohan says she relates to Elizabeth Taylor because they both love diamonds. [Dlisted]

A poster of a clock that is actually a clock. [LaughingSquid]



The chin whiskers are what really makes it. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]



Much better. [TastefullyOffensive]


Look who wasn't hugged enough as a child. [ParisHiltonSexSlave]

Ugh. [Buttsexington]