You might think that being the all-time highest-selling female artist means an endless list of whirlwind love affairs, almost by definition of the job. A rock star or tech mogul here. A helicopter pilot or security guard there. Not for Mariah Carey.

Nope, according to her new Cosmopolitan cover story, Mimi's taken a strict quality-over-quantity approach to her love life. She casually revealed — with the blasé disinterest in other people's opinions about her of someone who's spent 30 years under constant scrutiny — that at 49 (or possibly 48), she's only been with five people.

"I haven't had that many, but there has been a variety pack. I've only been with five people in my life," she told the outlet, continuing to drop in some classic Mariah shade: "I'm kind of a prude, honestly, compared to most others in the field."

A variety pack of lovers! Yes, Mariah! The pop star just referred to her sexual partners like a box of Quest bars or a sack of Doritos snack bags. She did not elaborate about the Mimi Five (she never names names), though we can safely assume the mix-n-match bag includes ex-husband Nick Cannon, Tommy Mottola (the 20-year-older Sony music exec who she dated for eight years as a pop newbie), her rebound from Cannon, billionaire James Packer and current boyfriend, back-up dancer Bryan Tanaka.

The fifth remains a mystery, although over the years Mariah is rumored to have dated, to widely varying degrees of confirmation: model Christian Monzon, producer Mark Sudack, Eminem (she denies it), Derek Jeter, R&B singer Eric Benet, Latin music icon Luis Miguel, model Marcus Schenkenberg and actors Jamie Theakston and Eddie Griffin.

Mariah, of course, has the unique ability to define her own reality via sheer will-power ("I don't know her!") and control which facts about her see the light of day (her birthday remains a mystery), so we may never confirm #5 and that's okay! Women are still shamed no matter how long their list is, so cheers — may we all go forth into 2019 aspiring to give as few fucks as Mariah, a woman who likes her own Instagram posts and publicly has no idea who The Chainsmokers are.

Photo via Getty

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