According to a truly wonky-looking news source, the Sunshine State's very own presidential hopeful (Sorry, Jeb!, not you) Marco Rubio was an active member of the South Miami High School Dance Troupe--an all-male hybrid of "the Village People and Chippendale's,"where he and other studly bros flopped around on stage and flaunted their tanned, rippling meat torsos.

The photographic evidence:

The story says the devoutly Christian, Republican and very-much-anti-gay politician left this extracurricular activity out of his bio, American Son.

Personally, I can't think of anything more wholesomely American.

The "story" also claims Senator Rubio is present in this photo of a foam party at a South Beach gay club in '95...

While I'm taking this latter detail with a grain of a salt, I'd like to compliment the obscured male in question's gorgeous clavicle.