Lindsay Lohan Killed Me!

Bummed out from Ingmar Bergman's death, I raced off to the movies to see tabloid terror Lindsay Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me -- and it's a riot! Lohan stars as Aubrey, a sweet rich high school teen who would rather write short stories that put out for her jock boyfriend. One night she disappears, kidnapped by a local serial killer (that one can practically spot during the opening credits). She's found unconscious, but alive, on the side of the road, and awakens in the hospital missing her hand and part of one leg. She claims she's not Aubrey -- but Dakota, the daughter of a crack whore who dances at a strip club. Her parents are horrified, the cops are pissed, and the shrink thinks she's delusional, a result of the trauma she suffered at the hands of the psycho.

Oh brother, after that, the plot twists will unhinge your jaw. Directed by Chris Sivertson (who did a Jack Ketchum film adaptation called The Lost that still hasn't surfaced but I hear is brutal and great). This is a howler... but really cheered me up. Any movie that combines Saw, Boxing Helena, The Parent Trap and then throws in stripper poles and stigmata is genius in my book.

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