John Waters' heart might belong to Baltimore, but the legendary camp filmmaker and "pope of trash" has had eyes for Provincetown since he was a teenager. "I've been going to Provincetown for 51 summers," Waters told us over the phone recently. "I hitchhiked there when I was 17. Someone said 'Oh, it's a really neat place. You'll like it.' It was. I did." Waters, who describes Provincetown as "a gay fishing village," knows the town in and out. We asked him to give us some of his favorite entertainment picks for an outrageously fun day in town.

MAP
My favorite store in Provincetown is called MAP. It's got great books, very hip clothes, great gift items. I love to hang out there. I'm always hanging out at the front corner like a store detective -- so don't even think about shoplifting there. I'll take you in the back and make you be on nudeshoplifters.com. I used to be a shoplifter in the old days, so I know the tricks.

MAP, 220 Commercial St., Provincetown, MA. (508) 487-4900

Scream Along With Billy
On Friday nights I love to see "Scream along with Billy," which features Billy Hough, this great performer who plays the piano and performs entire albums as part of his show. He's the only gay man I know who can do Eminem's full album.

Check billyhough.com for locations and showtimes

The Beach
Longnook Beach is my favorite beach and I don't mind saying that because you need a sticker to go and they're hard to get. Every day I pray I see a shark eat a whale or a seal, because when you're swimming the seals come right up next to you in the water. So I'm always looking out for that. I love nature, as long as it's things killing other things.

Albert Merola Gallery
I very much like the Albert Merola gallery. I'm a little bit biased because I show there, but they have the best art gallery in town. They have great shows there. I'm a fan of one of the owners there -- he's a painter, James Balla. I collect his work. They also handle Pat de Groot, who is my landlady. She's an amazing painter and she's in her 80s.

Albert Merola Gallery. 424 Commercial St, Provincetown, MA. (508) 487-4424

Mews  
I love it, there's no irony. The food is good and they treat me well. And what else do you need when you go to a restaurant?

MEWS. 429 Commercial St, Provincetown, MA. (508) 487-1500

The Provincetown Book Shop
I worked there as a young man, and that was really what ended up being my college education, because I never really went to college. When I won a LAMBDA award this year I dedicated my prize to the owners because they were really my education.

The Provincetown Book Shop. 246 Commercial St, Provincetown, MA (508) 487-0964

Photo by Mischa Richter

For more on Provincetown, check out PAPERMAG.com/ptown