Here's a clip of 19-year-old Patton Oswalt -- introduced as "Patent Oswald" -- doing a mini-standup routine in a very bizarre educational video about college loans. You can see him at the 0:30, 5:40, and 8:50 mark. [via Vulture]

Meet Wasabi-Chan, the tiny kitty who got injured and needed to be put in little crocheted costumes to keep her from escaping her feeding tube. Even though she made a full recovery, we hope she stays in her mushroom costume forever. [via Jezebel]

We're deeply fascinated by this clip of an austronaut washing her hair in space. If only we could get that kind of volume. [via Uproxx]

"'What a man,' Mimi cooed." [via mlkshk]

Our minds = blown. [via mlkshk]

Next project once we're done with our Cheers fan fic? [via knusprig.titten.hitler]

Here's a video of a fuzzy little pup eating watermelon to get you through your Monday morning. [via Dlisted]

"Genius is 1% inspiration and and 99% perspiration, even when under your mum's butt." [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

This chart (which you can click to enlarge) definitively proves that all reality show stars are part of an Illuminati-esque cult led by Lauren Conrad. [via I'm With Kanye]

We'd date you. [via knusprig.titten.hitler]