Ah, e-commerce, what doors you have opened for kink-loving customers who rarely leave the comfort of their fandoms. Because whether you skew more superhero or supernatural (or just really want that Darth Vibrator statue that's been circling the web), now it's as easy as pick, click and ship to live out your culturally-relevant fantasies. As such, we've taken the liberty of completing the first step for you -- and we're not talking any accidental Harry Potter broomvibes.

Twilight Dildos

An oldie but goodie, this Cullen-inspired cock was known for its sparkle/ability to keep cold. Plus it matches those Edward puss panties.



Always wanted to "fistpump" Pauly Shore? Well, now's your chance. There's even two day free shipping with Amazon Mom.


Hello Kitty Vibrator

What's extra weird is that this is, um, officially sanctioned by Sanrio. According to Amazon, "Japan's most famous feline [is] ready to take you to multi orgasm!" 


Super Hung Heroes

Purveyor of pervy goodies Doc Johnson has a few new collectibles, namely a series of superhero-themed dildos à la Batman-themed "caped cocks," monstrous, Dr. Bruce Boner Hulks and Thor's "hammers." 

Tardis Butt Plug

Even though the Etsy store is no longer producing it, we hear it's bigger on the inside.


Speaking of Doctor Who toys, at one point there was a 3D-printed Sonic Screwdriver Vibrator. It'll fix up anything.


There's apparently a company called Necronomicox that specializes in horror-themed toys. And their most "intriguing" offering? A pustule-ridden, raw wounded zombie dick -- in case The Walking Dead is the franchise that gets you going. You can even customize it and ask for a greenish tint if decomposition is more your thing.