The Goop Holiday Gift Guide is an Expensive Fever Dream
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The Goop Holiday Gift Guide is an Expensive Fever Dream

As the holiday season looms in the distance and anxiety about how you have no idea what to get your cousin that you only get to see every three years, breaks out many turn to handy gift guides for inspiration. From flipping through the Toys 'R Us (RIP) Toy Book to Neiman Marcus' Fantasy Gift Guide, flipping through gift guides can range from the practical to the fantastical and still manage to provide inspiration to those aimlessly lost among the Black Friday crowds.

So leave it to Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow's wellness brand that has amassed a cult-like following and faced critical scrutiny over some of their questionable products supposed healing properties, to lean into a skid and put out the most tantalizingly absurd gift guide yet. Billing itself as "Ridiculous but Awesome" the gift guide offers a variety of experiences and bric-a-brac for the eccentric billionaire in all of us. Ranging from a $39 hand-cranked butter churner to an entire Spanish village for $172,910, there's a little something in there for everyone's budget.

Other honorable mentions include: a breakfast package at a manor where giraffes are known to occasionally poke their heads in, a Hermes surfboard, rolling papers made out of 24K gold, the opportunity to be photographer Miss Aniela's "muse-for-a-day," a travel package that will strand you in the deserted terrain of your choice, a loofa of the month club, a vanity phone number, and a clip on bidet.

Take a look at some of our favorite suggestions below and browse the full Goop gift guide here:

Photos via Goop