1. Check out the comedy-variety show Totally J/K tonight, January 26, 8 p.m., at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (307 West 26th Street). The comedians scheduled include Donald Glover (NBC's Community), Hannibal Bures (30 Rock) and Joe Wengert (VH-1).  Tickets are $5 and the advance rezzy list is full, but there'll be a stand-by line.

2. Justin Bond from Kiki & Herb is releasing his first full-length solo album, Dendrophile, on April 4.  He's using a new identity, "V," and promises lots of "sex, gender and sexuality."

3. Glasgow's Kode9, the king of "bass fiction," is DJing at The Cove (106 North 6th Street, Williamsburg) on Friday, January 28.  His new album Black Sun is coming out in April on the Hyperdub label.  DJs MikeQ, Contakt and Rem Koolhaas are also spinning and it's FREE before 11 p.m.

4. New York nightclub Cielo (18 Little West 12th Street) has planned two big parties to celebrate their 8th anniversary. The first is tomorrow night, January 27, with Victor Calderone and co-owner Nicolas Matar. We'll let you know about party number-two when we

5. Now for some science news: A polar bear swam 426 miles continuously for over nine days in search of sea ice.

6. Eat some Vegemite and hug a koala! Today is Australia Day, the official national day for the Land Down Under. On January 26, 1788, a fleet of ships sent from England to establish a penal colony arrived in Botany Bay.