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Posted Oct. 29, 2007, 12:14 p.m. ET
The Life and Times of Fabian Basabe: Everyone There Wore a Rented Old School Tuxedo or Very, Very Wide Legged Jeans With Experimental, Unknown Sneakers..."
By Fabian Basabe
So sorry I have not written sooner but, as you already know, I have been in Los Angeles setting up an apartment here. I haven't had much time to spare, being busy with furniture shopping, car shopping and well... tanning.
But I did make my way to this one awards gala that I just have to share it with you -- unpacked boxes be damned! First, let me preface it by saying was so far beyond wretched that to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I can't reveal the actual event. Otherwise I will not be invited back, and I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to pick up a few more horror stories next year. Anyway, here we go.
The first red flag was the perhaps the dress code, "Black Tie Optional.” Amused, I decided to wear a pair of jeans and a jacket. I figured I might be a little under-dressed, but people would forgive me. Thank god I didn't wear a tux! Everyone there wore a rented old school tuxedo or -- taking the "optional" to heart -- very, very wide legged jeans with experimental, unknown sneakers and shirts that even the boys from 'NSYNC would have ditched. The women looked like they were either going to the prom in Arkansas or to Sunday mass.
I was hit on by: (in this order), Lil' Kim's ugly sister, in a leopard blue dress... shirt... I don't know -- it was torn up and she looked like she had been run over by a car. Next: a barefoot cougar sucking on a lollipop, followed by a guy who is producing a movie who would like me to be in it. He handed me his business card -- which had his picture on it! (Does it double as his driver’s license??) Making my way through the crowd, shaking my head in disbelief and trying to keep to myself, I saw it; it being the buffet table, an extravaganza of sushi next to pasta next to cookies next to caramelized apples the size of a New York studio. A selection that would make any self-respecting New York girl with body issues (and some boys -- you know who you are) purge from ten feet away. That did it. I packed up my posse and on the chorus of some tacky seventies disco song and we took off for saner pastures.
Comments
You're a douche.
Posted at 11:24 a.m. ET on Oct 30, 2007 by Missi
I agree with Missi: you are a douche.
Posted at 12:19 p.m. ET on Oct 30, 2007 by Anonymous
Yeah seriously, LA sucks, but you're a f--king corny, self-obsessed D-Bag... Please stay out there in LA with all the other losers.
Posted at 12:28 p.m. ET on Oct 30, 2007 by Johnson
Yea, you really are a douche.
Posted at 12:53 p.m. ET on Oct 30, 2007 by Zuzz
Go back to Ecuador you douche bag. You are so empty and shallow! You are a waste of space and you're using a lot of air that could go to someone more deserving! JERK!
Posted at 3:24 p.m. ET on Oct 30, 2007 by Yasuri Yamileth
I really feel sorry for you. I think that deep down inside you're really a scared, weak, unloved little boy. You compensate by puffing yourself up, and hiding behind people that you pay to live your life for you. Every time it starts to look like you might have to actually think for yourself or accept responsibilty for your actions you start throwing around words like "lawyers" and "diplomatic immunity". I didn't realise Florida was its own country these days. You behave worse than any two year old I've ever met, and I pray to God that should some poor woman ever have the sickeningly bad taste to go to bed with you, and this is then followed by the painfully acute bad luck to find herself cursed with your spawn, she at least has the decency to find someone to help her raise the poor unfortunate who is slightly more human than you. Charles Manson, for example. Mind you, she probably will have to, you married for money so goodness know you're never going to have any legitimate children. You pathetic inability to see beyond your stupid looking face makes the world a more unforunate place for the rest of us. You're annoying, stupid, ignorant, arrogant, and very nearly ALWAYS wrong about EVERYTHING. Go away and die.
Posted at 1:05 a.m. ET on Nov 04, 2007 by someone with more brain than this Fabian moron, not that that would be hard!!
you're f*cking moron loser. everybody hates you. F*ck off, f*ckwit sh*thead douchbag wanker dickhead
Posted at 1:08 a.m. ET on Nov 04, 2007 by jamal wanabitu
asshatch.
Posted at 4:46 a.m. ET on Nov 05, 2007 by Louise
To be honest. I think this story was great... some people just don't get how fun it is to make fun of people who haven't got a clue. It's not Fabian's fault he is better then them... haha.
Posted at 8:28 p.m. ET on Nov 13, 2007 by Joshua Nixon
He won't read these. He probably doesn't even type his blog. I'd wager a guess that he doesn't even know how to turn on a pc let alone use one.
Posted at 7:20 a.m. ET on Nov 14, 2007 by Cheeky
Oh....Sometimes I'm really pissed at you, and then I read these comments to you and I feel really protective of you....and then I read what you wrote and I'm just pissed again...simply because I can't believe you tried to get me to go there!!!! lol. Stay out of trouble, love you, this was hilarious. Experimental Sneakers....I think we remember my expirimental outfit. Sigh. May the force be with you.
Posted at 1:11 p.m. ET on Nov 14, 2007 by lol
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