It's hard to miss the five-martini lunches and constant scotch drinking on the fantastic AMC drama series Mad Men, but plenty of classic cocktails, from the Old Fashioned to the Brandy Alexander, have also made cameos. To honor these hidden stars, we asked good sports Toby Maloney, noted barman and cocktail consultant, and Alex Kelley, Brandy Library spirit sommelier, to tell us what each character's poison reveals about him or her. Here's a look at a few of these cocktails and the best places to drink like one of Mad Men's irresistibly troubled characters!



OLD FASHIONED
WHO: Don Draper, creative director and partner at Sterling Cooper ad agency; identity thief; slightly ashamed cheater to the max.
WHAT: Rye, bitters, sugar, soda (and, depending on the bartender, an orange or lemon slice and a maraschino cherry)
WHEN: At the office, Don takes his his Rye straight, but the Old Fashioned is Double D's drink when he's out and about.
IS DON WHAT HE DRINKS? Yep! "Someone who drinks an Old Fashioned is about manipulation," Maloney says. "You know the whole James Bond thing, 'Shaken, not stirred?' That wasn't because [Bond] was suave, it's because he was kind of an asshole and wanted to make the bartender work harder. With an Old Fashioned you are the master of that cocktail. It's a sugar cube and three dashes of bitters, and then you tell them how many ice cubes you want. You tell them if you want a lemon, or an orange. It's all about control."
WHERE TO FIND IT IN REAL LIFE: Little Branch and Smith and Mills make excellent classic renditions, but the fresh ginger in the Ginger Old Fashioned at Carroll Gardens' Brooklyn Social nicely complements the depth of the bourbon.

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The Virgins

The Virgins brought down Santos' Party House Thursday night for a tight performance straight off their June full-length self-titled release. No surprise that my BFF Simona McIntyre (co-star of the current Ryan McGinley-shot Simply Vera Wang campaign) and I bumped into Charlotte Ronson and Jessica Stam -- who perpetually names The Virgins as her favorite band, even going so far as to don handmade shirts backstage in case we should forget. Fun fashion fact: Lead singer Donald Cumming (star of Ryan McGinley's debut photography exhibition at the Whitney) is featured alongside Charlotte's sister Annabelle Dexter-Jones in the new Charlotte Ronson Fall/Winter 2008 Japanese advertising campaign shot by Pamela Hansen.

Although I live in denial and believe that surfer demi-god (and PAPER's August cover boy) Kelly Slater can never lose -- at anything -- it does happen. And it could happen again as he completes the last half of the ASP World Tour. After placing 17th in the Indonesian leg of the tournament about three weeks ago, in addition to the other major hiccup in Tahiti, Slater needs to butter up that board and score some gnarly points if he wants to compete in the finals for the ninth time.

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Fiasco, a Brooklyn-based three-piece punk band -- who you can check out in our upcoming October issue -- recently shot the music video for their first single "Oh, You Horny Monster," a song off their upcoming debut Native Canadians (out Oct. 14 on Impose). The video was shot in Fort Greene Park by Carlos Charlie Perez and features some crazy zombie action -- as well as PAPERMAG Stage scribe Tom Murrin. Can you spot him?? If not, here's a hint from Tom himself: "If you blink you might miss me -- but I am standing down one step, and a little to the right of the cardboard letter H (in OH)." We love a PAPERMAG cameo!

Check out the video here.

I reported to you earlier in the summer that Dorrian's was the new it spot for both prepsters and hipsters alike. Well, in the spirit of Upper East Side WASPy-ness, I must now draw your attention to another blue-blood hang out.... JG Melon. Located on E. 74th and Third Avenue, the classic burger joint whips up the best burger I have ever had in my entire life! In a taste test between Melon's and In and Out I assure you I'd pick Melon's. I had dinner there last night with everyone's favorite writer/journalist/celebrated social figure, Peter Davis, and ran into my dear friend and Moet Hennessey PR babe, Hadley Smith. As we were enjoying our burgers and bloody bulls (a Bloody Mary with beef broth; another thing that Melon's is famous for), We noticed two black SUVs pull up with massive bodyguards, looking very "Men In Black." Who were they there to pick up, you ask?? Why, none other than NYC's own Mayor Bloomberg!! Other "famouses" known to haunt the iconic bar/restaurant over the decades include Grace Kelly, Brooke Shields, many a Kennedy, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, as well as Tinsley Mortimer and Dabney Mercer. Another Melon's trivia fact that's fun is that its interior was filmed for a scene in Kramer vs. Kramer.

My personal recommendation? Start it off with a cup of chilli, then move on to a bacon cheddar burger (medium to well) with a side of cottage fries. Top it all off with a bloody bull or two!

All this typing about Melon's has me ravenous... See you there!!

Photo of burger from Farm1's flickr page

How gorgeous have Michelle Obama's clothes been this week? (And her speech was amazing too!). As a Democrat, the convention thrilled me and made me energized and ready to take on the Republicans. All my favorite big guns were there and all gave great speeches -- Caroline & Ted Kennedy (with Maria Shriver dabbing tears in the audience), Bill, Hillary and Chlesea and Lily Ledbetter. All were inspiring. As a fashion person, I've never been so excited style-wise about a politician as I have been about Michelle Obama this week. Thakoon for the night of Barack's big speech???? MAGIC!!! She also worked Narciso Rodriguez and Peter Sorenen this week after kicking things off on opening night in a Maria Pinto dress with accessories by Erickson Beamon. This woman is as chic as they come and WHAT an ambassador for American Fashion she'll be once the Obamas are in the White House. When has a First Lady EVER worn clothes by young, American designers? A boost like this for Thakoon is immeasurable! Mr. Mickey thought the Olympics were outrageous but the Democratic Convention was a truly inspiring roller coaster ride!!!!!

Michelle seated photo by Dennis Van Tine

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WHO: Kerrie Ann Murphy
WHERE WE FOUND HER: Prince Street and West Broadway
WHAT SHE'S WEARING: Ghost dress, Primak tights and vintage bag
SOMETHING WE DIDN'T KNOW BUT SHOULD: She's friends with Brit It Girl Ebony Bones.

I wasn’t able to see Michelle Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention until a few days after the broadcast (can we ever again imagine a world without YouTube?). Because my career is in media, I work in a fairly homogenized environment surrounded often and mostly by white co-workers, and those in my office who had seen the Michelle Obama speech the night it aired had not stopped talking about it. The comments were all pretty much unanimous that she had knocked it out of the park -- one co-worker said she thought Michelle was a better speaker than Barack; that she had known Michelle was brilliant, but had had no idea she “had it in her” to deliver such an amazing speech. Others said it gave them chills, but repeatedly, words like “amazing” and “brilliant” and “stunning” were used to describe this “unprecedented” moment where a prospective first lady had delivered such powerful oration. A few people threw a bone to Hillary back in the day, but my overall sense from people was that they felt this was a major, major moment, and Michelle Obama was like no other.

Needless to say, I went into watching the speech with higher expectations than I might have otherwise. And let me say right now, it was a very good speech. Absolutely, spot on. She nailed it. Like a dancer or a musician, she created a path of momentum and followed it, embodied it, sailed through without missing a beat. However, I did not find that it was amazing. I found it to be, what many folks in black America might say, the true voice of a culture -- a historically matriarchal culture, in which women’s are the voices of leadership, grace and hope. Many, many black people would say of this speech that Michelle sounded like their mother, sister, aunt or grandmother at church, a family gathering, or a moment of reckoning.

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Sukiyaki Western Django, Takashi Miike’s outrageous takeoff on Spaghetti Westerns spoken in phonetic English, opens today. A mysterious gunman (Hideaki Ito) shows up in a town overrun by two rival gangs searching for hidden gold. There's the Heiki (in red, led by a leader who reads Shakespeare’s Henry V to his posse), and then there’s the Gengi (in white with a boyband-like handsome leader in white robes and brandishing a sword.) There’s even a legendary female gunslinger (Kaori Momoi) disguised as a salty general store owner whose daughter in-law thirsts for revenge. The goofy English attempt at tough-guy talk and brilliant art direction and costumes make for a deconstructive look at the Western. Even Quentin Tarantino shows up as a feared gunslinger. But damned if the story doesn’t grab you by the balls and eventually move you to tears, even while you’re shrieking with glee. One of Miike’s very best.

Olympic all-around gold-medal-winning gymnast Nastia "Nasty" Liukin will not only be gracing the Wheaties box, but she's set to be the new face of denim line Vanilla Star's "Smart Girls Rock" campaign. The girl-empowering ad campaign will launch August 29th (tomorrow), and there'll be an unveiling at Parsons School of Design at 9:30 a.m. We wonder if she'll make an appearance?? Said Ms. Liukin of the partnership, “I am really excited to be a part of Vanilla Star’s ‘Smart Girls Rock’ ad campaign... I know what it is like to have a dream in your mind and work as hard as you can to achieve it. I’m just happy I can encourage others to do the same.” Here here! We love us some Nasty, though sometimes it freaked us out when she would kiss her father on the lips!

We know, we can't believe it either. The fourth annual Art Parade, organized by Deitch Projects, Creative Time and yours truly (PAPER Magazine) is fast approaching, and taking place on Saturday, September 6th at 4 p.m. to be exact! How fast summer flies by! The always insane parade (this ain't your grandma's Memorial Day parade, kids) will make its way down West Broadway and will feature artist projects conceived by the likes of Barry McGee, Clare Rojas, Beta Tank, Yoko Ono and Kenny Scharf and over 800 (yes, 800!) participants. Stay tuned to PAPERMAG for more Art-Parade-related tidbits leading up to the big day...

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Inside the store

Tucked away on a side street in Tribeca, pb&Caviar is a charming new boutique peddling bath and body products and clothing for women and children. The store simply reeks of good taste… literally. A fragrant swirl from their selection of luxuriant -- and all natural -- beauty products delighted our sense of smell upon arrival. Perfectly-wrapped soaps and hand creams from Mistral are selling alongside candles from Altru and Cote Bastide. A full range of the house-favorite Farmaesthetics skincare line is available, as well as shower gels, bubble bath and home products from Lollia.

Owner Evin Cosby (yes, the daughter of Bill Cosby) handpicks all clothing at pb&Caviar, and her taste, like the namesake, is both sweet and salty. There are some sparkly, ruffled and crocheted pieces by Melissa Odabash and vibrant Anna Sui print dresses made of velvet and silk. But there are also less flamboyant fall separates from Tocca and Graydn that just hit the racks. You’ve got options in the denim department, too, with brands like Union, Sodafine, Genetic and Siwy.

The kids section is chock full of color, toys and clothes, and it’s crazy fun! You’ll just coo over the girls’ dresses from Siaomimi and various vintage-inspired boys’ buttondowns. A “Respect Your Mother” sweatshirt by Little Celebrity and mini puffy jackets by Diesel are silly and awesome at the same time. (Pics of both are above).

White walls, cozy décor and tons of natural light give the 1,700-square-foot store real warmth. Pb&Caviar is soothing for us big kids yet not too stuffy for the little ones.

Pb&Caviar
88 Thomas Street
(212) 608-1112

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WHO: Eva Katrin
WHERE WE FOUND HER: Prince Street and Broadway
WHAT SHE’S WEARING: Chloe Sevigny shirt, Miu Miu shoes, KTZ leggings, Ann Sophie dress, Marc by Marc Jacobs bag
WHAT HER LOOK SAYS ABOUT HER: "It's a natural look."

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When you first enter Marquee (where Steven Lewis moved his old Spa Wednesdays party a few years back), the place is packed with young professionals in suits and white shirts. But don’t let that scare you away! The secret is in the back room on the main floor, which on every Wednesday transforms into a fun downtown-esque party. Actor Michael Cavadias (aka Lily of the Valley) DJs this weekly Room 3 party alongside Miss Guy, James Coppola and the Six Six Sick ladies. The night I went, Lady Miss Kier from ‘90s pop band Dee-Lite DJ-ed an amazing set and had the eclectic crowd moving and shaking. It brought back memories of my high school cafeteria, though, as the scene divided into different cliques: tattooed goths/industrial types in corner, gays in another, skater/graffiti kids in one booth and black-clad MisShape-y types in another. The only thing missing was the jock/cheerleader table.

What is up with Scandinavians invading downtown New York with their cute boutiques? Following in the footsteps of Acne, Dunderdon, Staerk, etc., Kisan Concept Store is setting up shop on 125 Greene Street come September 8. The brainchild of French-Icelandic couple Thorunn Anspach and Olivier Brémond, and based in Reykjavik, Kisan is known for its meticulously curated eclectic mix of women's wear, children's clothing, toys, fragrances, housewares and outerwear. The space is designed by hot archticture firm on the block Work Architecture Company (the firm responsbile for P.S. 1's Public Farm 1) and will feature a "marriage of French creative chic and Scandinavian purity." The color scheme of the 1,300-square-foot interior will be white and lavender. As for the actual pieces, brands carried include Vanessa Bruno, Orla Keily, Sonia Rykiel, Girl and the Gorilla, Isabel Marant, Ports 1961, Jerome Dreyfus and others from Iceland, Japan, France, Germany, Denmark, Finland, the UK, Italy, Belgium, Sweden and the United States. Kisun's jumping right into things during NY Fashion Week and throwing parties for Steinunn, Sonia Rykiel and Justin Giunta's Subversive Jewelry.

Pictured above is an interior shot of Kisan's Reykjavik boutique.

Perry Mason Season Three (Volume 1), out this week on DVD, is a definite must-own. By 1959, during the third season of the marvelous CBS television mystery series, a nice comfortable routine had set in. There’s the wily defense lawyer Perry Mason (played with consummate relish by Raymond Burr), his devoted secretary (played by the beautiful Barbara Hale), his crack private eye Paul Drake (played nicely by William Hopper) and his forever losing D.A. Hamilton Burger (William Talman). But they were still using the cleverly plotted novels by Erle Stanley Gardener as the basis for the plots and the endless parade of great character types to play blackmailers, dangerous dames and guilty-looking clients.

King Kong’s Fay Wray shows up in The Case Of The Watery Witness as a fading movie star who refuses to acknowledge her daughter she gave up for adoption 24 years ago. Playing her salty, less-than-devoted servant is Kathryn Card, who many remember as Lucy’s mom Mrs. McGillicuddy on the I Love Lucy TV series. In The Case Of The Garrulous Gambler, Dick Foran assumes his no-account brother committed a murder and tries to cover it up only to get charged with the crime. The luscious Paula Raymond shows up as a shady dame. Cult fans will remember her from later Al Adamson films like Blood Of Dracula’s Castle and 5 Bloody Graves. The series is a treasure trove of B-lists stars, and the clarity of this three disc (12 episode) DVD set lets you even see the sweat stains on their shirts. These only represent half of the series and I’m already salivating for Part 2!

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On Tuesday afternoon, my not-so-secret obsession Colette toasted to its freshly revamped Paris store with a launch party celebrating Swedish brand WeSC’s new headphones codesigned by Ed Banger and Colette. The “silent event" was hosted by Busy P (a.k.a. Pedro Winter, the head of Ed Banger Records), who insisted that shoppers could only listen to his live master mixes by donning a pair of the new WeSC headphones signed by SO-ME.

Masamichi Katayama –- store designer for Marc Jacobs in Tokyo, Uniqlo in London, all of the Billionaire Boys’ Club stores, among others -– recreated Colette’s main entrance into a hipper-than-though street culture haven. A ginormous Goyard suitcase bursting full of Ice Cream and BBC items takes center stage along a small corner dedicated exclusively to Bape products -- serving as a stark contrast to the high-end second floor of women’s wear and coveted cosmetics.

Sarah’s curatorial eye is by far one of the best in the industry. She seamlessly mixes the likes of Rodarte and Lanvin with fun cult hits like Deer Dana into brilliantly bizarre ensembles that no one else could ever fathom (no less devise on one floor)!

Stuck aux Etats-Unis? Colette x GAP debuts on September 6 with a massive plethora of crazy-cool collabs and limited edition products. Check out http://www.colettexgap.com/ for more details.

Photos by Kristina Gisors

Brooklyn-based band Frankpollis -- comprised of James Pollis and Malcolm Perkins on the guitar, John Frank on the bass and Jackson Pollis (known as "the fourth MisShape") on the drums -- is already big in Japan (no, really, it’s true) and are about to blow up big-time in their hometown. They’ve garnered support from bands like Liars, Les Savy Fav, Adam Green and Brian Jonestown Massacre due to the near perfection of their noise/rock/surf sound. And if the fans are any indication of their staying power, they will be around for a while; a typical concert generally involves a sea of dancing girls and a slew of phone numbers given to band members post-show. Frankpollis’ nonchalant hipster-esque attitude translates on stage to a great show where the band does their thing and the audience does theirs. Recently, we checked in with them for a little Q&A action.

What’s your favorite NYC venue?
Malcolm: Definitely John and James’s house [in Sunset Park, Brooklyn]. We were supposed to have a show there with Adam Green recently but it got shut down by the cops before either of us could go on. We rehearse there, and there’s a lot of space, it’s so isolated. It’s like being away from the city when you’re actually there.

John: The problem with a lot of venues today is that they don’t give a shit about sound quality, as long as things sound good we’re going to be happy. Glasslands in Brooklyn is really great.

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Craving killer tacos? Then head to Mercadito Cantina, a mod taqueria which opened in the East Village earlier this summer, across the street from the original Mercadito -- but which features a different menu and vibe. Here, it's all about communal and counter seating, grazing and drinking. The clean design comes by way of the Northern Michigan woods, the ceiling and nearly every surface lined with beautiful blonde cedar. Our corner of the counter filled up quickly with little bowls of bright, freshly made salsa, chips and crispy corn bread nuggets ($3.50) that I'd compare to hush puppies, but better. There are eight salsas to choose from ($2.50 for one; $4.50 for two; $6.50 for three), with ingredients like toasted peanuts, capers, pickled jalapenos and roasted garlic. Think there's only one kind of guacamole? Mercadito offers six flavors (two for $10.50; three for $13.50), from traditional to mole poblano to Oaxaqueno with mango. My favorite of the batch, however, was the “sandia,” a green blend of tomatillo, habanero chiles, epazote and bits of sweet watermelon. Chef and co-owner Patricio Sandoval devised a number of flavorful fillings for his soft tacos, too, like one with zesty homemade green sausage, manchego cheese and tomatillo. Tilapia fish tacos and calamari tacos with plantain salsa were also terrific finger food, and yes, the juice from them will drip all over your hands so have napkins ready ($8.50 for two tacos). A duo called the Tippling Brothers (Paul Tanguay and Tad Carducci) were forced to get creative with the cocktail list since the community board denied Mercadito Cantina a full liquor license. Instead of tequila, get a shot of tric-quila, sake infused with smoky peppers that bears a resemblance to the real thing but lacks the kick. No matter how much I drank, I stayed sober, but at least that way I was able to fully appreciate the delicious food.

Mercadito Cantina
172 Avenue B
(212) 388-1750

Photo from Thrillist.com

So twice a year I go out to Vegas to check out a couple fashion trade shows. The most popular is Magic, then after that is Project, and the newest and hippest show is Pool. Pool showcases the pieces from slightly more independent boutiques from all around the globe. Here are some highlights…

These cool kids all work at Homage. I love this crew; they are so down to earth, hip, friendly and confidant. They make amazing vintage inspired fashions from recycled clothes. Some of the shirts were so weathered and soft that I thought they were actually 30 years old.

This is one of my all time favorite things I've ever found. So these necklaces/bracelets are two pieces, the metal chain and the magnet jewelry. In this case, the magnet is the round disc (which comes in all shapes and sizes). All you do is wrap the chain around your neck or ankle or wrist, and then slap the magnet on it, and it sorta just creates this artwork jewelry all on its own.

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Camilla Staerk, the Danish designer behind modern-minimalist clothing line Staerk, announced today that her new Nolita flagship boutique is finally open to the public. The sparse Scandanavian space, designed by Staerk along with Erik Johnson, is black-and-white heavy, and features wood, marble and metal details. The store will sell the complete Staerk womenswear collection, as well as shoes, bags, belts and swimwear. Additionally, Staerk will reintroduce her sunglass line which she produced with Selima Optique, which she'll be peddling alongside her capsule jewelry collection. Staerk hopes the boutique will feel like a "creative space," and has peppered sculptures by Mies van der Rohe and Finn Juhe, along with glassworks by Holmegaard throughout the store. She also said that she plans to hold art exhibits in the space.

Now that we live in the Age of Watching TV on Our Computers, network websites are hustling to keep up with the joneses, aka Hulu.com, the paragon of online TV websites. Enter the newly revamped thewb.com, which relaunches today. While the site currently says, "stay tuned. we'll be live shortly," tubefilter got an inside sneak peek. And it looks really good. The sleek new site features a super-searchable archive (you can search across all the shows on the site for certain phrases -- i.e. you can find out many times Seth Cohen mentioned Death Cab for Cutie on The OC), a cool application called WBlender that lets you mash-up clips from various shows (a tribute to Ross's monkey Marcel, anyone?) and full seasons of Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Smallville and The OC. One of the main draws though, is the slew of (ten, to be exact) web-only shows. Highlights appear to include Sorority Forever (created by McG and Josh Schwartz), Whatever Hollywood (a comedy following three best friends named Suri, Apple and Shiloh) and Rich Girl, Poor Girl (from the creator of Laguna Beach, which takes a girl from wealthy suburb in Orange County and swaps her with an inner city LA teen -- eek!). Yowzers. We may never leave our house again.

Everyone adores Luigi Tadini (stylish and model-looks: what's not to love?). Luigi hosted a small "unbirthday" dinner (he turned 25 last April 15th) at the Surf Lodge in Montauk. The divine Bebel Gilberto performed. I sat with Amanda Hearst and mingled with chic Dalia Oberlander, Minnie Mortimer, Justin Belmont, Liam McMullan, pretty Rachelle Hruska, David X Prutting, Julia Erdman and Timo Weiland. I also saw Calvin Klein, Ross Bleckner, Rogan Gregory, Kelly Klein and Aida Turturro. Oh, the chicness! The whole affair was filmed for Plum TV where Luigi has a weekly show. Smile -- you're on Tadini TV!

Check out Luigi at: http://hamptons.plumtv.com/videos/out_east_luigi_tadini_sneak_peek

Out on DVD is a real space oddity: Games Girls Play. The director of Creature from the Black Lagoon, Jack Arnold, directed this salacious sex comedy starring Christina Hart as Bunny, the man-crazy daughter of a wealthy American. The father is made a diplomat in London and he places Bunny in an all-girls finishing school to keep her out of trouble. In no time she convinces the coeds to strip naked and swim in the pool and convinces a few girls sneak out at night and bed visiting foreign dignitaries as a “bet." Also known as The Bunny Caper, this 1974 film has lots of painfully unfunny bedroom humor and plenty of full-frontal female nudity, and is a weird rarity from the director of The Incredible Shrinking Man. There’s a short funny featurette interview with lead actress Hart, who describes the casting process for the film... It involved stripping down in front of the director and producer, who she admits, "were probably more embarrassed than me..."

Oh behalf of my own personal gang of merry pranksters, I would like to wish our patron saint/patriarch, Henry Lihn, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hank can often be seen raising the roof or raising hell all over the LES and at places like Beatrice and Gramercy. During the day, this hunkosaurus Rex is the CEO of Gin Lane (a brand development and marketing company) and hot downtown clothing label, LOLA.

Happy Birthday, big guy!!

XxPJC

Fela Anikupalo Kuti, a native Nigerian, was a charismatic musician/composer/performer and an iconic activist in his homeland. His pioneering music, called “Afrobeat,” a blend of jazz, funk and African rhythm and harmonies, made him a worldwide entertainment sensation from the ‘60s to the ‘80s, and his political struggles during that same time only increased his reputation. When he died in 1997, a million people attended his funeral.

Bill T. Jones, a notable New York choreographer for 25 years, and a recent Tony- Award-winner for Spring Awakening, is directing and choreographing a new musical based on Fela’s life and music. Co-credit for the piece’s conception goes to Jones, playwright and dramaturge Jim Lewis and the lead producer, Stephen Hendel, an avid fan of world music and a particular fan of Fela. There is a cast of 18, with Sahr Ngaukah (pictured above) in the role of Fela. Brooklyn based Antibalas will play Fela’s music. I spoke with Jones (who co-wrote the book with Lewis) on a Sunday by phone.

Hi Bill, thanks for talking with me on your day off. Is this a biographical show?
No, it’s not a biopic. That was the first thing we decided. It’s a freely conceived take on a very complex life. I call it a work of imagination, with a lot of dimension.

Fela was known both as a world musician and a social activist.
In the late ‘60s, there were protest singers, like Pete Seeger and others, but I don’t think he (Seeger), and others like him, were ever harassed like Fela was. I can’t think of a major artist who would have had to face being jailed over 200 times, was tortured and vilified, and literally attacked by government soldiers. Fela was that.

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Without fail, every year, at the last match of the Bridgehampton Polo season, the layers of propriety are peeled away to reveal the free-for-all party that shuts down the season. I don't know where all these people hide all summer, but somehow everyone and their mother shows up at the fields, ready to schmooze under the VIP tent.

There's a lot going on under that infamous tent: all the girls who were able to get it on over the summer looking for one last chance at love; all the guys who never quite got enough over the summer looking for one last kill; East Enders not ready to let go of the season, celebrating one last big, drunken Saturday afternoon.

Other less raunchy lasts included saying bye to the nice folks at Hamptons Magazine, who always sponsor the last match, and has tables upon tables of free Niche Media mags from here to eternity; bidding adieu to those behind T-Mobile tent, which always rocks the house with awesome DJs; watching the actual polo match that is taking place; and soaking in the live music -- this year it was a performance by OnDa ground music's, HRS Princess.

So we say adios to another season of the Bridgehampton Polo until next year, when for six Saturdays in the summer, we ride the ride all over again.

Last week I had the pleasure of meeting up with friends Nick Cohen and Seth Campbell at their brand new store for their hip/haute shoe line, Upper Echelon Shoes, or UES. The store is nestled amid a stretch of shops at 100 Forsyth St. on the LES, looking out on to a park across the street. An idyllic location for a downtown luxury brand with an obvious double entendre in its name.

It has been a whirlwind past few years for Campbell and his business partner and close friend, Cohen, a well known DJ and New York nightlife fixture. Not only was P. Diddy seen doing his thing in UES shoes live at the BET Awards last year, but their kicks are now available at Alice & Olivia, Hirshleifer's and Fred Segel.

That afternoon, not only did I have the pleasure of check out their stellar collection, but I also was able to sit down with Nick and chat about their line. Here’s what he had to say.

When did you start designing shoes and for what reason
It started out as a project for fun. Seth has a family background in the discount footwear sourcing industry and I have a family background in the discount jewelry business. We decided to combine the two and make footwear accessorized with jewelry hardware. Rather than go the discount route, we decided to elevate to an Upper Echelon and attack the designer casual footwear market, where we saw a void of new and exciting product. Hence, Upper Echelon Shoes was born.

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Andres Serrano's Shit show opens on September 4th at the Yvon Lambert Gallery and I am so there. Who doesn't want a Hieronymous Bosch Shit, 2008 C-print, 88 x 72 inches (223.5 x 182.9 cm) in an edition of 5? This opening is definitely going to be the shit.

Karlie Kloss may have been crowned Fall/Winter 2008's Top Model and since booked the most editorials amongst the new "American Model Trinity" (Ali Stephens of Dallas, Chanel Iman of Atlanta and Karlie of Chicago), but whispers among industry insiders at the possibility of a second sweep come September's fashweeks has generally been met with skepticism. After all, how long can her doleful bearing with distinctive downcast stride possibly enchant clients?

Fear not Klossoholics! Following February's collection presentations, the then 15-year-old's new team at Next carefully curated her editorial appointments to project just the right haute appeal (April Numéro byHorst Diekgerdes, May Numéro by Greg Kadel, June MUSE by Ben Hassett, June Vogue Nippon by Laurie Bartley, June Korean W by David Byun, June W by David Slijper, August Vogue China by KT Auleta, September Numéro Tokyo by David Vasiljević, and September Dazed & Confused by Jason Kibbler).

In her second solo cover to date, a dewy-faced Karlie nabbed the coveted September/October issue of RUSSH Australia in the the celebrated Rodarte "Japanese slasher film-inspired bloody school girl dress". No wonder she looks so coy...

Jack Smith and the Destruction of Atlantis, a great documentary by Mary Jordon on the legendary underground filmmaker, is on DVD and it's just fantastic. Jordan artfully reconstructs Smith's life and times, his influential experimental theater, his scandalous films like Flaming Creatures (1963), which was banned at the time, and his death from AIDs in 1989. It's a fascinating look at this wonderful crackpot visionary.

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Leee Black Childers and Cynthia Social-Lies

Back in the ‘60s and ‘70s, Leee Black Childers helped rule NYC’s underground. A former Warhol assistant, Leee carried a camera and hung out at the back rooms of Max’s Kansas City and CBGB’s. He went on to manage Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust tour along with the Heartbreakers’, and befriended Iggy and the New York Dolls. So it was no surprise that his b-day party thrown by Cynthia Social-Lies at The Annex had that same Max’s vibe. There were freaks galore at this party including JoJo Americo from The Ones, door legend Kenny Kenny, MAO's Roger & Mauricio, Astro Earle, Rainblo and Jenitalia, along with assorted trash and vaudeville LES rocker types. Jake Noodles, of the Wellington Ladies Welfare League, performed and there were lots of laughs for rock ‘n’ roll ventriloquist Carla Rhodes and her puppet Keith Richards, who had a big back of Coke attached to him. Newly blonde Michael T, of Motherfucker fame, DJ’d glam rock tunes all night long. There must have been a ton of glitter on the dance floor to sweep up the next day.

DJ Roxy Cottontail kicks off her new PAPER TV series, Roxy's Tales, with an interview with the one and only A-Trak.

The T-shirts of the season go on sale today and benefit the Burundi Solar Project, which is raising $450,000 to build a hospital in Kigutu, Burundi. The charity was founded by Elettra Wiedemann and her boyfriend James Marshall and PR whiz Joey Jalleo, who have commissioned designers Chris Benz, Giambattista Valli, Rogan, Phillip Lim, Rag & Bone and House of Diehl to design limited edition tees (only 100 of each!) for the project. Score yours today at www.justonefrickinday.com.

Bob Morris is busy taking meetings. Agents, producers, people like me are calling to talk to him about Assisted Living: True Tales of Double Dating With My Dad, his hilarious and poignant book about the pursuit of love both for his dad, after his mom died, and for himself, an openly gay man with a high profile social life and a column in the New York Times. Finding himself single and a robust 80, Morris’s dad took up dating with the enthusiasm of a young buck and Bob found himself playing the role of middleman in the senior dating circuit. The results scream sitcom! The http://www.assistedloving.com/ web site is a hoot as well, serving up Jewish schtick to go along with the kvetching. Morris pere is a great creation and he has found a worthy chronicler of his later years in his son Bob. I recently chatted with Bob about the book, his column and what it was like finding a condom in his dad's glove compartment.

So tell me about all these meetings.
Well, I had a meeting with Henry Kissinger’s son. Had a meeting with the guy who did Legally Blonde and Wicked on Broadway. I saw a lot of really major people. But my agent kept shooting them all down. She said, “He didn’t attach a director, so I don’t care how fancy he is. He’s got 20 things in development, how do you know you’re even going to get paid?”

It’s your life so you should have some control on how it gets depicted.
I am not going to see a show about a guy who has a neighbor with big tits. No, literally, this very cocky older producer who said, “Okay, this is how I see the show will work. It take place in LA. Bob is a failed writer who manages an apartment complex and he only lets in good looking women as tenants and his father moves in." I was like, maybe that’s a show that you could sell, not me.

Did you always have the title Assisted Loving in mind? I know when you did it as a one man show it was called something else.
When I was doing it as a one-man show it was called Pimping for my Father. My father was still alive at the time and he pitched such a fit over the title because he thought it was so unseemly -- the word pimp -- I said, “Oh come on dad, there is a show on TV called Pimp My Ride. He just wasn’t buying it and I had to take it seriously. He was a lawyer so I think he even threatened a lawsuit.

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Before hitting Harry LeFrak's annual blowout bash, the chic set was at Bronson van Wyck and Andrew Fry's Sunset Supper at their house in Southampton. I spotted Aby and Samantha Rosen, Peggy Siegel, Eric Villency, Fernanda Niven, Christian Leone, Danny Baker and Alex Kramer, Susan Shin, Fiona Thomas and Patrick Thomas and Rachel Peters. The waiters were Studio 54 buff and bronzed, and caviar was served "Arkansas style" by scooping a lump onto guest's hand as if it were cocaine. How decadent and totally rehab-free!

Pictured above are Bronson van Wyck and Andrew Fry

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Nicole Fiscella, Eric Daman and Leighton Meester

Someone forgot to tell Bendel’s that a red velvet rope would hardly be sufficient to keep the determined and rabid Gossip Girl fans at bay! At last night's party to celebrate Bendel's new window displays, created by the show's costume designer Eric Daman, there was happy mayhem between the press and the fans until one bold lassie, armed with a cell phone camera simply, climbed over the rope leading the way for others. When a pint sized credentialed photographer asked her to step back she was greeted with a few choice words: "Just cause you got a big camera, bitch, you ain't all that. Why I should come over there and slap you down and give you a good beating." What fun! And there wasn't a celebrity anywhere near the place yet! Lucky for us all, Leighton Meester, Taylor Momsen, Nicole Fiscella, Jessica Szohr, Kelly Rutherford, Matthew Settle, Amanda Setton and Eric Daman soon arrived, and the crowd settled down a bit.

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Glenn Horowitz Booksellers rocks my world for holding the coolest fashiony/artsy events in the middle of Hamptons country. This weekend proved no exception when they hosted a soirée at their East Hampton outpost for the release of Purple Anthology, a book celebrating the 15th anniversary of the beloved Parisian fashion magazine Purple. People more likely to be seen in the Lower East Side than out east came out to give Purple and
its editor, Olivier Zahm, a shout.

I couldn't resist asking Zahm about the opening of Purple's new offices in New York (I was looking out for all you folks hoping to score a spot on their masthead!), but he said it wasn't such a big deal and that the office would only have a staff of two. "I was tired of being a vagabond, being in other people's spaces here and there like a squatter,” he said.

And if you have 25 grand burning a hole through your pocket, pick up the Purple Portfolio, a limited edition collection of five signed and numbered, 16 x 20 photographs by famous Purple photogs like Juergen Teller and Richard Prince. Um, I think I'll have to save a few more pennies an wait til next year for that one.

Out this week is the eagerly awaited South Park (The Complete Eleventh Season) (Comedy Central). I love listening to the reluctant commentary by creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They hilariously relate how the idea sprang out for each episode, riffing off current events or national scandals that gave way to another animated adventure with the foul-mouthed boys of Colorado. But this season was one of their very best, featuring the brilliant Imaginationland trilogy in which Stan, Kyle and Butters are transported (by balloon) to a magical land only to be attacked by terrorists. The subplot about Cartman moving heaven and hell to have Kyle live up to a signed bet to suck his balls if Cartman was right about the existence of leprechauns is just genius.

One of may favorite episodes, Le Petit Tourette, has Cartman pretending to have Tourette Syndrome so he can let rip with hideous racist comments all day long with immunity. In Lice Capades, the boys are inspected for head lice and we see the kingdom of the lice where one solitary lice warns his fellow vermin of the dangerous state of their environment. This way Parker and Stone can rip on Global Warming and the comic ways the kids react to finding out which one is riddled with “cooties." And in one of the rudest episodes, The Snuke, modeled after the show TV series 24, a nuclear device is secretly planted in Hilary Clinton’s vagina. It just doesn’t get any better or funnier than this!