Because we probably can't rely on Matt Lauer to ask Donald Trump the tough questions (i.e. what does the presidential candidate think of this year's Cannes selections), we now have @ArtHouseTrump, which reimagines the Donald as a little less obtuse and lot more Ebert. And just like the kid you sat next to in your Italian Cinema seminar, he's got a whole host of obnoxious opinions.

Thankfully, he at least agrees that nouvelle vague is kind of garbáge...

That Kurosawa can be a little overbearing at times...

Not to mention the fact that no one needs to spent 2+ hours watching Adam Driver write poetry.

And, of course, just like his IRL counterpart, @ArtHouseTrump is not afraid to sling some shittalk, taking a few of Hollywood's controversial favorites to task sans hesitation.

However, @ArtHouseTrump is also suspiciously a pretty big fan of revolutionary Soviet cinema...though we'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say it's probably for the Odessa steps sequence.

Then again, he also thinks that the work of infamously morose Swede Ingmar Bergman is conceptually anti-American...

As if your Criterion Collection wasn't conservative enough already. Excuse us while we watch Crossroads for the twelfth time.