IMG_4001.PNGKim Kardashian's new game for the App Store seems to be simultaneously designed for children, and also teaching the worst lessons a child could possibly learn about interpersonal relationships, aspirations, and gender roles. It's like Grand Theft Auto except less engaging, and you use female charm and name-dropping to gain points rather than murdering people. It's not that anyone was expecting Kim Kardashian's game to be a modern exploration of female agency, but it's a cornucopia of problematic messages. For example, why does the game keep prompting me to change my nose/eyes/lips/outfit every five minutes? Isn't there some kind of a plastic surgery limit? Also, why is Kim K so coercive? When do I get to meet Kanye? Why do I get cash just for clicking on a pigeon? That's very misleading. Check out some bizarre snapshots below:

IMG_4004.PNGI was just trying to do my job, selling clothes at So Chic Boutique, and in walks Kim K just when I was locking the store. Not only does she make me let her in, but I have no option but to (Insist.) on giving her clothes from the store for free. I could have been fired.

IMG_3371.pngI kept checking my "achievements" tab and was disappointed that I continued to have no achievements. But hey, at least I'm stunningly attractive.

IMG_4006.PNGMy character seems to have no idea what's going on...ever. It's as if she landed onto the streets of Beverly Hills straight from the womb.

IMG_4013.PNG Just when I was losing all faith in the game, I get hit on by a female engineer. While I still resent the fact that my only real options when talking to any stranger in a bar are "network" or "flirt" (where is "run in the opposite direction"?), I must concede that this is pretty progressive. 
IMG_4010.PNGSome sage advice from an older man to "Keep your head down...or wherever the photographers want it," which is a perfect message for the young girls likely playing this game. If you need us, we'll be sitting in a darkened room drinking whiskey for the rest of the day.