Best Response to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert News: Comes from the man himself. What else would you expect? -- Tucker Chet Markus
Best Selfie-related News of the Week: Artists Tyler Madsen, Erik Carter, and Jilian Mayer created Selfeed, a website that provides realtime updates of the #selfie tag on Instagram. With thousands of mirror pics and peace signs flashing at a rapid pace, Selfeed is definitely the most efficient way to people watch. -- Gabby Bess
Best Celebrity Troll of the Week: Fake Drake. The internet's favorite Canadian rapper dressed up in "disguise" (a fake beard and an emo wig) and took to the streets to find out what people really think about Drake. The results are hilarious. --G.B.
Most Hated Person on the Internet of the Week: The Basic Bitch. You might not be having such a great week if you're a so-called #basic. Not sure if you're basic? Check out the The Cut's profile of the modern basic bitch. If you've got all the symptoms of being a basic bitch, don't worry. We're here to help. -- G.B.
Art Show Opening this Weekend That We're Most Excited About: Paper beautiful person Jaimie Warren's "That's What Friends Are For" at the Hole. Warren will present a a five-channel video remake of Fra Angelico's High Altarpiece of San Domenico in Fiesole, recreated panel by panel with 200 of her friends. Each panel depicts different pop culture characters selected by her mother, grandmother and herself, including Groucho Marx, Betty Boop, Liberace, Jennifer Lopez and Tina Turner. She also made a bunch of new GIF self-portraits, like the scary-ass one above. Go Jaimie! -- Elizabeth Thompson
Best Coachella Style Advice: Ms.Fitz's. This is the best thing we've read all week, if we do say so ourselves: "If you haven't heard, the slutty hippie/Pocahontas look is OUT -- so take that floral headband and denim booty shorts back to the Urban Outfitters mega mall on Bedford Avenue! For style direction, take note from the line-up this year, which is much less "Indie Rockerrrr" (yewwww!) and more European electronic. Get comfy and sexy in monochrome sneakers, basketball shorts and bold, tongue-in-cheek logo tees. Think, like, "Sporty East London chav" but kinda gothy, yeah?" -- E.T.
Best Dressed: Lena Dunham slam dunks. This sparkly Marc Jacobs gown is super, sexy, cool. -- Maggie Dolan
Would You Have Sex With Paul Rudd of the Week: Yes. -- T.C.M.
Worst Reason to be Gisele: Getting audited. I guess being on Forbes' 'Highest Paid Model List' several years running raises a few eyebrows. See, everyone's got shit. -- M.D.
Worst Woman-on-Woman Crime: The woman who chucked a shoe at Hillary Clinton as she took the stage for a speech in Vegas. Remember kids, what happens to Vegas sometimes goes viral. -- M.D.
Breakdown of the Week: This poor, poor girl doesn't understand how glass works. Or how cleaning works? Does she need some sort of a receptacle? I don't even know. *voice quivers* IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK OK. *sobs* --T.C.M.