Best Argument For Getting Tattooed Anywhere But Your Face: This Times article describes an unbelievable case in which a guy was mugged in Staten Island by a guy with a lightning bolt tattooed on his face -- but not the guy from Staten Island with the lightning bolt on his face they found. -- James Rickman
Best Biennial of the Week: The Whitney Houston Biennial: I'm Every Woman. There were an overwhelming amount of art shows this week but this one takes after one of the fiercest Whitneys to ever grace us with her earthly presence. The exhibition, which showcases some of New York's most talked about female artists, is on view one day only this Sunday. -- Gabby Bess
Best New Tumblr of the Week: "Starring Diddy." -- Abby Schreiber
Most Ridiculous Mixtape Idea Ever: HBO will release a new mixtape inspired by 'Game of Thrones' called 'Catch the Throne', which features Big Boi, Wale, Common, and Daddy Yankee. Nice reference to 'Watch the Throne,' guys. I suspect some of the sound titles will be "Lannistas in Paris," "Some Zombies In The Wild," "Welcome to the Night's Watch," and "Why I Hate You, Joffrey." -- Sarah Bellman
Nuttiest Shoe We Saw During Paris Fashion Week: Miu Miu's pointy-toed galoshes with screws as heels. For fashion's sake! -- Maggie Dolan
Biggest 'Oh God, What Are You Doing' of the Week: Thurston Moore confirming that he is, in fact, an oblivious 50-something-year-old man with an embarrassing Facebook account in the grips of a lame and predictable midlife crisis. Just like our dads and everything! -- Elizabeth Thompson
Best Music Video of the Week: Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX's Clueless-themed video for "Fancy." -- A.S.
Second Biggest 'Oh God, What Are You Doing' of the Week: John Travolta's latest shoe polish doll-hair wig. This all must be so exhausting, John. Just do the Oprah OWN interview, move to Hawaii and finally start living. -- E.T.
Best Network Ticklefest: Lena Dunham and The National, on this very sweet SNL promo. Look at Matt Berninger's face! Look at it! -- J.R.
Best Millennial Fan Girl Anouncement: Archie comic lover Lena Dunham (she's just like us!) will be writing a four-part series comic for series focusing on the girls of Riverdale. -- M.D.