PAPER
on the front lines of cultural chaos since 1984.
Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.32.56 PM.pngUSA (Ralph Lauren)
These uniforms just scream "villains from a John Hughes movie." Can't you just see these two riding up to you like, "what are you doing here? I thought this ski trip was for the kids whose parents could afford it?"

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.24.48 PM.png
France (Lacoste)
French ennui never looked so...gray.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.25.52 PM.pngGermany (Adidas)
Germany says, "Are you high on poppers in a Zubaz store? Because we are!" At least they're acknowledging how homosexual the Winter Olympics truly are unlike some countries.
Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.24.55 PM.pngSweden (H&M)
The hotness of the models distracts us from the fact that these uniforms are the living embodiment of a pair of Oakleys c. 1999.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.25.18 PM.pngEstonia
This is very couples' ski weekend in a less menacing way than the American uniforms.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.35.28 PM.pngRussia (Bosco)
R U serious with these schizophrenic ensembles? What are you? Prep school chic or Joe Namath in Steamboat Springs c. 1975?

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.26.07 PM.pngLithuania
These remind us of a mid-to-late '90s Central European dance music group.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.50.25 PM.pngCanada
Fun, fresh, nice and sporty.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.26.17 PM.pngCzech Republic
Basically the Czech team is going to all look like PAPER's Ke$ha cover.

Screen shot 2014-02-05 at 5.37.31 PM.pngLatvia
This whole thing is one big Kokopelli wind chime.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.39.55 PM.pngAustralia
Sure.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.40.36 PM.pngGreat Britain (Adidas)
These uniforms and this photo make Team Britain look like a youth gang on Skins.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.41.42 PM.pngMongolia
We're so excited about these.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.43.28 PM.pngSwitzerland
These uniforms are the Guy Fieri of Olympic uniforms.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.42.25 PM.pngThe Netherlands
Chic personal trainer look.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.42.53 PM.pngSlovenia
These uniforms are very Peeps.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.42.14 PM.pngNew Zealand
New Zealand just said "fuck it" and recruited a Ninja Assassin to be their ringer.

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