PAPER
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Screen Shot 2014-02-14 at 12.21.11 PM.pngTurns out that the PR rep for Michael Sam, the college football star who recently came out as gay, is somewhat of a poet. Let's talk to Michael Sam, we thought. See if he'd be interested in being in Paper Magazine's Beautiful People issue. So we contacted his rep, Howard Bragman, who orchestrated the PR campaign and broke the story on the front page of  The New York Times. (Bragman has earned the rep of being the "Gay Guru"  and a PR specialist in these types of "coming out" stories, having worked with Joseph Steffan, a U.S. Naval Academy midshipman who was forced to resign after revealing he was gay, along with actress Meredith Baxter and Chaz Bono, among others over the years.)

Bragman responded to our inquiry with a poem. Tip of the hat to Dr. Seuss:

I am the rep for Michael Sam
I am

He would not like to chat with the press
In a suit or in a dress

He would not like them
Here or there
He would not like them
anywhere.

He would not like them
in a house
He would not like them
with a mouse

He would not do them
on a box
He would not do them
with a fox

He would not,
could not,
in a car

You may want him.
You will see.
You may want him
in a tree

He would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let him be.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could he, would he
on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Michael Sam! Let him be!
He would not, could not, in a box.
He could not, would not, with a fox.
He will not do them with a mouse
He will not do them in a house.
He will not do them here or there.
He will not do them anywhere.

Would he, could he, in the dark?
He would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would he, could he,
in the rain?
He would not, could not, in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
He does not do them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
He will not do them here or there.
He will not do them anywhere!

Could he, would he,
with a goat?

He would not,
could not.
with a goat!
Would he, could he,
on a boat?

He could not, would not, on a boat.
He will not, will not, with a goat.
He will not do them in the rain.
He will not do them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let him be!
He does not like them in a box.
He does not like them with a fox.
He will not do them in a house.
He will not do them with a mouse.
He will not do them here or there.
He will not do them ANYWHERE!

With the professional football draft not until May, the story will undoubtedly continue to build, at least until we find out which team will have the honor of signing the first openly gay football player. Already opinions are divided between players, teams and the National Football League, each one reassuring the media that all will be fine while an undercurrent of skeptics predict that it'll be anything but...

In the meantime, we'll be enjoying this (Michael) Sam-I-Am poem.

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