Best "Beyoncé-Themed Thing" of the Week: The ABC's of Beyoncé. If it was up to the internet, this would be on the walls of every classroom in America. -- Gabby Bess
Most Exciting TV News of the Week: There's going to be a Seinfeld reunion, people! -- A.S.
Fiercest Instagram Photo of the Week: Mykki Blanco's. Fur? Leather thigh-highs with a matching jock-strap? Check, check, aaand check. -- G.B.
Shortest Retirement of the Week: Shia LeBeouf's. The Beef is coming out of his three-week long retirement to star in a movie with Bill Murray, Zooey Deschanel, and Danny McBride. -- G.B.
Best Kanye Photo We Saw All Week: This photo Jezebel found in the murky depths of Reddit of a woman whose kneecap very much resembles the rapper. #ILLUMINATI -- A.S.
Saddest Beer-Related News of the Week: The news that the FAA were putting the kibosh to beer drones. Guess we'll have to keep buying our six-packs like fuckin' PEDESTRIANS. -- A.S.
Best Fashion Campaign of the Week: Barney's new campaign featuring 17 gorgeous trans models shot by Bruce Weber. -- A.S.
Best Cartoon We Watched All Week: Tinderella, a fairytale starring a lonely young woman and your favorite dating app. -- A.S.