on the front lines of cultural chaos since 1984.

Here's Orange Is the New Black's Taystee and Crazy Eyes (a.k.a. Danielle Brooks and Uzo Aduba) singing a medley of Christmas carols. Can we start hearing this on Lite FM, please? [via Jezebel]

Screen Shot 2013-12-02 at 4.30.32 PM.pngICYMI: A long-haired Bruce Jenner is inexplicably trapped in a glass tube -- is it metaphorical? does it represent his crumbling marriage? his fate as a Kardashian Kash Kow? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? -- in the new Kardashian Kristmas Kard. [via Buzzfeed]

Screen Shot 2013-12-02 at 4.39.35 PM.pngBarf-o-meter Level 10 Alert: Sriracha vodka is a thing that exists. [via Laughter Key]

tumblr_mx0tqgd8AL1r0wqrdo1_500.jpgThis is making it to the top of our holiday wish list but holy fuck, why is this piece of padded cloth $99?!. [via Humor Train]

Screen Shot 2013-12-02 at 5.49.41 PM.pngScreen Shot 2013-12-02 at 5.51.51 PM.pngScreen Shot 2013-12-02 at 5.51.32 PM.pngHere are a bunch of unbelievably awesome responses to text messages from the wrong number. [via Distractify]

tumblr_mnbswaLxKl1qz8wiwo1_500.jpgGuy Fieri's balloon doll is the scariest thing we've seen all week. [via Rats Off]

enhanced-buzz-31270-1386016972-4.jpgJust kidding: celebrities with their faces upside down is the scariest thing we've seen all week. [via Buzzfeed]

Some guy recorded New Yorkers' inane conversations with a boom mic. Thank god we were never filmed because he probably would've caught us talking to our mom about how we ate too many bagels or something dumb like that. [via Brokelyn]

ASAP-Rocky-fan-letter-608x608.jpgThis kid's fan letter to A$AP Rocky is the best. [via Stereogum]