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Holy shit holy shit holy shit, Beyoncé released a secret album last night.

In an anti-marketing move that was the polar opposite of her husband's massive Samsung campaign to launch Magna Carta Holy Grail, Bey quietly released a self-titled record -- her fifth studio album -- late yesterday. She also gave the Internet an early Christmas present by simultaneously releasing 30-second snippets of all 17 music videos accompanying the album -- 14 of which appear as tracks on the record and three that, from what we can tell, are either bonus clips or will be released as singles down the road.

The videos are sumptuous glitterbombs that show Beyoncé frolicking in Brazil with Blue Ivy ("Blue"), hanging out in her native Houston ("No Angel") and, in a video directed by Terry Richardson ("XO"), riding around the Cyclone roller coaster on Coney Island. But the videos aren't all just about The Fabulous Life of the Carter Family. Queen Bee gets a little more conceptual in clips like "Superpower" -- her track with Frank Ocean -- in which she leads a band of stylishly-dressed anarchic protestors through a dystopic city; "Mine" (featuring Drake), which intersperses clips of Beyoncé singing with futuristic-looking dancers swaying on a beach; and "Ghost," a minimalist video that looks more like it came from some high-fashion spread. Other clips show the singer dipping her toe into sexy Lynchian/The Box-type burlesque ("Haunted" and "Partition") or dancing around with supermodels Joan Smalls, Jourdan Dunn and Chanel Iman ("Yoncé). But, in what's probably our favorite clip (or at least Top 3), "Grown Woman," Bey's fallen down the Tumblr rabbithole. Highlights from the cuckoo video include an army of Beyoncés twerking in front of VHS-style cosmic backgrounds, an appearance by Kelly Rowland wearing an amazing wig and, at the very end, some wonderful House of Dereón realness with Beyoncé and her mother, Tina Knowles, sitting regally in front of a desktop wallpaper of flashing diamonds. Watch 'em all, below.

"Pretty Hurts"


"Drunk In Love" featuring Jay Z


"No Angel"




"Mine" featuring Drake


"***Flawless" featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

"Superpower" featuring Frank Ocean


"Blue" featuring Blue Ivy

Extra videos:



"Grown Woman"