If you are a member of Congress you are getting paid this week. If you work at a national park you are not. The Republican party is so dead-set against your BFF who is a freelance graphic designer seeing a doctor that they've taken the US government hostage and straight up "shut it down" -- and not in a RuPaul's Drag Race kinda way. This week's Five 'n' Five highlights the key GOP members responsible for this hot mess and pairs them with some truly awesome shutting-it-down-themed songs.
1. John Boehner - "Shut It Down" - Drake feat. The-Dream
The key player in this game, it was Boehner's choice to push forward a version of the spending bill with a Republican wish list attached. Essentially quarterbacking us directly into a recession. #NamePronoucedBoner
2. Rep. Mark Meadows - "This Is How We Do It" - Montell Jordan
Basically the architect of this whole mess, Meadows penned a letter urging House GOPs to tie Obamacare to the funding bill. He even quoted the Federalist Papers. #TenthGradeMove
3. Sen. Ted Cruz - "Talk That Talk" - Rihanna feat. Jay-Z
Grandstanding Tea Party rockstar (barf) who is the leader of the anti-Obamacare showdown and is obsessed with threatening to filibuster. Even members of his own party are losing patience with this guy, accusing him of having "no strategy" and "hijacking the party." #AlrightWeGetIt
4. Sen. Marco Rubio - "Shove It" - Santigold
Presidential hopeful who (alongside Cruz) got everyone riled up about using the threat of a shutdown to defund Obamacare. Has suddenly STFU like the girl who talks behind everyone's back then watches everyone fight. #WhereYouAtRubio?
5. Rep. Tom Graves - "Killing In The Name" - Rage Against the Machine
Led the charge to defeat the original proposal by House Republican leaders that would have kept the government open. A Freshman rep trying to act like a tough guy, likely to impress Ann-Coulter-looking girl. #OhYouHard?