If you want to punish your ears but reward your eyes, then check out a new music video brought to you by the same ungodly production factory that churned out Rebecca Black. "Chinese Food," a hot new single by a young singer named Alison Gold features the tween singing an ode to her favorite ethnic cuisine and doing the "Make It Rain" dance when she gets to the part about chow mein. Trigger warning for the part when Gold's panda friend turns out to be a dude in his '30s..  [via Death + Taxes]

tumblr_m8dofmCrl41qcvaxho1_500.jpgOur eyeballs hurt. [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

tumblr_mugkd1tbkR1rn7bzro1_500.pngVery helpful, very true. [via Knusprig Titten Hitler]

Meet our new favorite meme, right after #StarbucksDrakeHands: Yaaas Lady Gaga. It started with a crazed Monster greeting Gaga with "Yaaaas, yes, Gaga, you look so good! Oh my good, yaaas. Gaga, you look beautiful! You look so beautiful!" and now, a meme-let is born, complete with awesome remixes of "Applause." Don't think too hard about it -- just enjoy. [via Buzzfeed]

tumblr_mudspcTb6K1rc7bwvo1_500.gifWhoops! Guess I can't pay the cable bill this month. #AdultLife [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

Here's the tiniest -- and cutest -- tae kwon do match you'll ever see. [via Videogum]

tumblr_munz7yiEt01qz581wo1_500.jpgPSA: The pizza cocktail exists. We're going to vom now. [via Buzzfeed]

We haven't decided if this is better than those Jay Z impressions, but here's a comedian who does an uncanny impersonation of Morgan Freeman on Vine. [via Laughing Squid]