The new trailer for C.O.G., based off David Sedaris' Naked short story by the same name about his post-college job selling clocks carved of stone in the shape of Oregon, opens with a shot of a bug-eyed man with a neck tattoo asking the Sedaris character, Samuel (played by Jonathan Groff), if he's "opened his heart up to Jesus." Samuel replies, "I think that religion is meant for people who aren't smart enough to understand how the world really works." And so begins the first of many similar encounters that Sedaris' Yale-educated protagonist encounters in rural Oregon after he moves there in a pseudo-rebellious "going off the grid," early 20s moment. The trailer shows him working in an apple orchard and factory, meeting a hunky (and possibly DTF) guy played by the corrupt, tortured Congressman from House of Cards and causing lots of eye-rolling with his East Coast pretension. If it were up to us, we'd make a movie of all the Naked essays, if only to bring the image of a little boy rocking back-and-forth in his room to the 5th Dimension's "Up, Up, and Away" and licking the light-switches at school to the big screen, but we'll take what we can get. It opens in theaters September 20th.