Thursday, March 14
SAMPLE SALE: Assembly NY Sale
Warmer temperatures got you itching for a spring wardrobe makeover? Men's and women's clothing from Assembly NY is up to 80% off at their sample sale this weekend, with goods from A Détacher, Cast of Vices, Jeremy Scott, Mark McNairy and more.
170 Ludlow St between Station and East Houston Sts, 12 p.m.-8p.m. Sale ends Sunday, March 17.
BOOKS: "I Dreamed I was a Very Clean Tramp"
Writer, poet and punk icon Richard Hell discusses his memoir for the Barnes and Noble series Upstairs at the Square.
Barnes and Noble, 33 E 17th St, 7p.m., Free
FOOD: Mark Russ Federman
Lower East Side lox whisperer Mark Russ Federman is celebrating the release of his latest book Russ and Daughters: Reflections and Recipes from the House that Herring Built (read our Q&A with Federman here). The first 100 people who purchase the book will be invited to a reception catered by Russ and Daughters.
Congregation Beth Elohi, 274 Garfield Place, Brooklyn. 7:30p.m., $10
Friday, March 15
PERFORMANCE: Performance artist Narcissister (who you can read about in our Spring issue, on stands now) has been getting buzz for the past couple of years for her burlesque-inspired pieces (namely, her "reverse striptease," in which the naked artist pulls various articles of clothing out of her private parts) and her bold installations. Tonight, she debuts her new performance "The Organ Grinder," an "internal exploration of the body." This show's not for kids, but you probably guessed that.
Abrons Arts Center, 466 Grand St., (212) 598-0400. 8 p.m., $15. Tickets here.
PARTY: Frankie Sharp's Friday at Santos Party House
96 Lafayette St, New York, NY 21+, $10
Saturday, March 16
PERFORMANCE: Patti Smith narrates Tubby the Tuba
A childhood classic gets a modern makeover thanks to Patti Smith, tap dancer Lane Alexander and the Little Orchestra. Smith will be narrating the tale of a rebellious tuba who defies the odds -- very similar to the spirit of punk music.
Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center, 65 Columbus Ave, New York, NY, 11a.m., $15
BEAU-TAY: PS1 Pop-Up Nail Salon
Add some flair to your talons at MoMA PS1's pop-up weekend nail salon -- part of CONFETTISYSTEM's 100 Arrangements installation. First come, first served.
MoMA PS1, 22-25 Jackson Ave, Long Island City, NY, 12p.m.
CONTEST: Barcade's Arcade-Off
Playstation schmaystation: Get back to your gamer roots at Barcade's Williams Manfacturer's Challenge this weekend and go head to head with the the top-dog players of vintage arcade games like
Robotron, Defender, Sinistar, Moon Patrol, Make Trax, and Joust. Winner takes home $1000!
Barcade, 388 Union Ave, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, (718) 302-6464. 12 p.m.-7 p.m. Registration is $20.
Sunday, March 17 (See our Non-Douchey St. Patrick's Day Party Guide here)
SCREENING: Weird Science at Nitehawk Cinema
The '80s cult classic gets the Nitehawk brunch screening treatment as part of the theater's "Chicago: The Second City on Film" series, saluting films set in the Windy City.
Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY, 12:15p.m. $11
Grab a complimentary Stoli Shamrock Martini at celebrity photographer Patrick McMullan's festive St. Patty's day bash. With Lady Bunny as DJ and live performances from Irish dancers, you'll be getting your jig on all night long.
XL Nightlclub, 512 W 42nd Street, Manhattan; 10pm-4am
PARTY: St. Patty Scissoring With Frankie Sharp
Nightlife guru Frankie Sharp is getting into the holiday spirit with Saint Patrick's Day Scissor Sunday at the Rusty Knot. Experience some of the sickest DJs, an amazing $2 shot special, and, did we mention a free vodka giveaway between 4-5pm?
The Rusty Knot, 425 West St., Manhattan; 4-10pm; Free
Monday, March 18
FILM: Ashik Kerib
This 1988 musical picaresque by Armenian director Sergei Parajanov follows a folk hero on a fairy-tale journey (based on a story by Lermontov) to court a beautiful princess; it also allegorizes the gay director's persecution by Soviet brass. Tonight's screening will be introduced by members of the performance troupe My Barbarian.
IFC Center, 323 Sixth Avenue. 35 mm, 78 minutes. 9 p.m. $13.50
English band Savages is reviving that sort of gothic 80's post-punk that acts like Siouxsie Sioux and Killing Joke made their own and they are really damn good at it. Heavy on the bass and even heavier on the brooding, Savages' creepy music will be worthwhile to catch live.
Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey Street. 8 p.m. $15
Tuesday, March 19
Screenwriter, host of BAMcinématek's Cinema Chats series and longtime Village Voice film critic and contributor Elliott Stein passed away in November, and his friends at BAM are honoring him with the month-long "Tuesdays With Elliott," featuring some of us his favorite films. Stein actually co-wrote and stars in tonight's selection Bizarre (Secrets of Sex), a trippy 1970 nudesploitation classic exploring "the extremities to which mankind--and more particularly, womankind--go in the pursuit of, shall we say, satisfaction." It's narrated by an exhumed mummy.
BAM Rose Cinemas, 4:30 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. $13. Tickets here.
TALK: Rap Genius
Schomburg Center, 515 Malcolm X Boulevard. 6:30 p.m.
Wednesday, March 20
MUSIC: Ed Schrader's Music Beat
The Baltimore minimalist post-punk duo perform on the first anniversary of their album Jazz Mind. With local noise-pop duo Yvette.
Silent Barn, 603 Bushwick Avenue, Brooklyn. 7 p.m. $8.
OTHER: Band Name Thread Funeral
The Ho_se, 28 Lawton Street #1, Brooklyn. 8 p.m.