Best Budweiser Commercial That Made Us Cryyyyyyyy: See above. God dammit, Budweiser! -- Elizabeth Thompson
Biggest Musical Losses of the Week: Ohio Players singer/guitarist Leroy "Sugarfoot" Bonner, jazz-funk guitarist Jef Lee Johnson and avant-jazz conductor Butch Morris. So glad I got to see Johnson play in Brooklyn this December. -- Jonah Wolf
Best Surprisingly Good Read: The Love Song of Johnny Valentine. The narrator of the novel is basically Justin Bieber, yet the whole thing is very insightful. -- Max Kessler
Best Quote We Heard All Week: "Hmmm, little Taylor Swift. I would keep her well-fed in a room away from her guitar and most importantly away from boys," Alan Cumming, when asked what celebrity he'd like to adopt. -- Abby Schreiber
Best Wig EVER: Al Pacino wearing a poodle's ass on his head as Phil Spector in the new Spector HBO movie. -- E.T.
Best Envy-Inducing Story About Rich Russians Who Order 20 Couture Outfits at Once Because They Can: Cathy Horyn's post about how well Dior is selling under Raf Simons thanks to the globalization of couture. -- M.K.
Best Song We Can't Stop Listening To: Yadi's "The Blow" -- E.T.
Craziest R&B/Hip-Hop-Related News We Heard All Week: R. Kelly will be headlining Pitchfork Music Festival this summer. Let's hope his set consists entirely of all 33 "Trapped In the Closet" chapters. -- A.S.
Worst Idea of the Week: Nominating Chuck Hagel in the first place. -- E.T.