PAPER
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weekend guide
Friday, December 7

national-lampoons-christmas-vacation-chevy-chase-clark-griswold-poster-19891.pngFILM: Griswold Family Christmas at Acme Studio
The folks at ACME studio are hosting a little Christmas movie festival this weekend, showing Elf, Christmas Vacation (before we were all too innocent and young to know what a dick Chevy Chase is) and Gremlins (which is seriously, seriously a scary movie! How was this ever meant for kids?), and will be serving beer, wine, and gourmet popcorn. They've also got a holiday shop on-site, complete with "prints made by the HR department" with all proceeds raised from print sales going to Hurricane Sandy relief.
ACME studio, 63 N. 3rd St., Willimasburg, Brooklyn, Tickets: $25, includes a drink. Through Saturday. Times here

MUSIC: The Pharmacy at Shea Stadium
Seattle trio the Pharmacy play scuzzy garage-pop that owes a lot to the early Kinks. Over ten years playing together (starting in high school), they've developed a reputable live show. Local punk trio Sleepies have been building buzz with this year's hook-filled album Weird Wild World and will open the show. Promoter Carlos Valpeoz, a.k.a. Bikes in the Kitchen, threatens this "holiday jam" may be his last show ever.
Shea Stadium, 20 Meadow Street, Brooklyn. 9 p.m. $5.

PARTY: Bossa Nova Civic Club Opening
This tropical-themed dance club opens its doors tonight with house DJ sets from Kim Ann Foxman (Hercules & Love Affair) and Steve Summers (L.I.E.S./100% Silk).
Bossa Nova Civic Club, 1271 Myrtle Avenue, Bushwick; (718) 443-1271. 10 p.m. Free.

MUSIC: Autre Ne Veut / Mykki Blanco / Majical Cloudz at 285 Kent
Brooklyn-based R&B up-and-comer shares a line-up with internet rap sensation-turned-bona fide rap sensation Mykki Blanco and Canadian electro pop duo, Majical Cloudz, at the small DIY space. Gatekeeper and Oneohtrix Point Never round out the bill with a DJ set each. Bottom line? Expect a mash-up of genres and music more colorful than the outfits you'll undoubtedly see on the kids who show up for the party.
285 Kent Ave., Williamsburg; 10 p.m., $10 ahead / $12 at the door

PARTY: Blkmarket Membership Presents Cocoon Heroes: Into the Magic
The roving, 'secret' underground dance party partners with techno label Cocoon to host dance music demi-gods like Turkey's Onur Özer, Tobi Neumann and André Galluzzi. As always, the location is hush-hush but email cocoonnewyork@gmail.com for the deets.
Location TBA; 11 p.m., $35 Advance Tickets

DANCE: The Nutcracker
It doesn't get more magical and lovely than the Nutcracker and tonight BAM kicks off the American Ballet Theatre's nine days of performances, which will be complete with a live orchestra. If you know a little kid who's into ballet, this is a must.
BAM, 30 Lafayette Ave., Ft. Greene, Brooklyn. Various times. $25.

Saturday, December 8

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MUSIC: The Rolling Stones Play the Barclays Center
The Stones' "50 and Counting..." tour makes a stop in Brooklyn to serenade the Barclays Center with "Start Me Up," "Tumbling Dice," and "Sympathy For the Devil." (We hear they bummed fans out by skipping "Satisfaction" at their kick-off show in London.) Gary Clark Jr. is said to be joining the band onstage for a duet and, given the fact that they brought out Mary J. Blige, Jeff Beck and ex-Stones Bill Wyman and Mick Taylor at that London gig, we're guessing there's more guest appearances where that came from.
Barclays Center, 620 Atlantic Ave., Fort Greene; 8 p.m., Available tickets are (unfortunately) around $830

COMEDY: The Brooks Brothers Christmas Clambake
Eggnog and clams will be served at UCB's annual ode to all things lovably -- and eye-rollingly -- preppy during the yuletide season (Sperry Top-Siders, F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Hampton Jitney and "your younger brother who didn't get into Princeton and ended up going to Tufts" are a few of the topics you might find the comedians riffing on). PAPER's own Alex Scordelis will host the show along with Chris Schell and Justin Purnell.

HAIRY: The 3rd Beard and Mustache Competition
The categories alone for this year's beard and mustache contest, including "women's most fantastic" and "beard over one foot" make this annual facial-hair showdown a must-attend. There will be raffles, belly dancers, pierogies and drink specials, too.
Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 8 p.m. $15. Tickets here.

HOLIDAY: Santa Paws
If you're sick of having your Facebook feed bombarded with photos of your friends' kids sitting on Santa's lap, here's your chance to post a few better pics of your own: Ink48 and 70 Park Avenue hotels are inviting pet owners to bring their furry friends to visit Santa and put in their requests for some new catnip or that chew toy the pooch has been eyeing. Light refreshments will be provided for humans and pets alike (drinks and cookies for the former, home-made treats and water bowls for the latter). If you're pet-less, come by anyway because rescue shelter Social Tees NYC will be bringing by some of their four-legged friends who need a home for the holidays.
Ink48: 653 11th Ave.,  2 p.m. - 4 p.m.; 70 Park Avenue: 70 Park Ave. between 38th and 39th St., 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. (Sunday, December 9)  

PARTY: SPANK / CRZE 5 Year Anniversary Loft Party
Queer art zine and party collective Spank celebrates five years in business with a blow-out at the Scholes Loft. Expect a "sprawling dance floor, multiple rooms and [an] outdoor patio" along with performances by Scissor Sisters' Ana Matronic and Ab Soto, dj sets by Sean B, and an art and light installation by BIG ART Group and Jeffrey Owen Ralston.
341 Scholes St., East Williamsburg; 10 p.m., $15 advance tickets

Sunday, December 9

Menorah-Horah_652x367.jpgHOLIDAY/BURLESQUE: Menorah Horah Hanukkah Burlesque ShowThe festival of lights and burlesque might seem like strange bedfellows but, given that there's seven other nights to spend the holiday with family and friends, why not watch some gals take off their clothes on the second night? Sherry Vine hosts the pageant-style event and the Schlep Sisters (Minnie Tonka and Darlinda Just Darlinda) will judge the performances.
Highline Ballroom, 431 16th St.; 8 p.m., $20-$35 plus $10 minimum

PANEL: The Power and Politics of Music and Media at PS1
Tom Tom Magazine, "the only print magazine in the world about female drummers," hosts this panel with Wax Poetic Editor-in-Chief Andre Torres, Cibo Matto multi-instrumentalist Yuka Honda, East Village Radio general manager Peter Ferraro, and artist/musician Lisa Lipton. Tom Tom founder and editor Mindy Abovitz moderates.
MoMA PS1, 22-25 Jackson Avenue, Queens; 4 p.m., Free

FILM: Spoons, Booze and Tunes: Holiday Edition
Ooh, it's a yuletide edition of Nitehawk's Sunday morning retro cartoon series! Today's installment of SBT will include clips from the legendary He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special , as well as highlights from Ren and Stimpy, The Smurfs, The Flinstones, Garfield and more. There's gonna be a cereal bar, booze and photos with Santa.
Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn., 12 p.m., $11.

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