As per usual with awards shows of this ilk, the actual MTV Video Music Awards were a bit of a snooze, and the red carpet fashion was, well, the opposite of a snooze. Here below we give out our awards for everything from Worst Use of Gold Accessories to Best Crazy Matador Look.

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Best "Secretly Goth" Look: Miley Cyrus 

After she bleached her hair and chopped it all off, Miley Cyrus has been a bit of a wild card fashion-wise. So of course we were sort of surprised to see Miley wearing this long, vampy, black dress with sheer cut-outs at the VMAs. Her hair is still a little questionable but this look is perfect -- and very different than what Miley usually wears. 

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Worst Use of Gold Accessories: 2 Chainz

It's a shame that 2 Chainz is named 2 Chainz, because judging by his VMAs outfit it's obvious that he wants to wear more than just two chains. He piled on every single gold accessory available on the planet that is NOT on a chain. He might want to change his name to "2 Chainz, 9,000 Gold Studs and Other Stuff." Just a thought. 

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Best Use of a Onesie/Worst Use of Cop Attire: Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj pretty much has a full-time hall pass to wear whatever she wants and still look cool, so this crazy, sheer, brocade onesie with a jeweled body-con outline works for her because, well, she's Nicki Minaj. It's actually a pretty tame Minaj ensemble. The oversized sequin cop hat, however, doesn't seem to work with her whole outfit. 

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Worst "I Wanna Be More Mature Because People Still Think I'm A Teen But I'm Actually 22 Years Old" Look: Taylor Swift

After wearing frilly party dress after frilly party dress, Swift's stylists Taylor Swift opted for a more mature white pant-suit for this years VMAs. We applaud her for stepping out of her comfort zone and trying something different, but this outfit is seriously a snooze. We wonder if she actually really liked it?

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Best Crazy Matador Look: Ezra Miller

Ezra Miller's "Matador-meets-Woodstock" look will probably get trashed by everyone else in the Universe, but here at Paper we dug his weird outfit! Our crazy September coverboy can do no wrong. Pretty sure he could wear a potato sack to any awards ceremony and still get kudos for being awesome. 

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Worst Oddly Sewn Gown: Alicia Keys

This weird, silver, oddly sewn gown that Alicia Keys was wearing made her look a really lo-sided Statue of Liberty. It's tucked in, draped and sewn together every which way and it's just confusing!

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Best Use of Color: Emma Watson

Perks of Being A Wallflower star Emma Watson's ensemble was one of the best looks on the VMAs red carpet. It was cute, colorful, and was paired perfectly with her simple braided updo. 

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Worst Maximalist Look: Katy Perry

Katy Perry's gown, which manages to combine leather, sheer fabric, a beaded print, AND a train, was pretty overkill in the design department. It also had this weird leather bow hanging off of the bodice which just looked like she had giant black leaves hanging off of her chest. Sorry Katy, but this was pretty tacky.

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Best Minimalist Look: Rihanna

Just when you think Rihanna has had every hairstyle on the planet, she cuts off all of her locks right before the VMAs and, of course, looks awesome! Her backless white gown might be a little simple, but combined with her new pixie cut and a red lip Rihanna's minimalist look was one of the best of the night. 

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Best Casually Patriotic Look: RuPaul

RuPaul's outfit, a stark white double-breasted blazer, bright red pants, a peek of blue collared shirt, and simple white sandals was so classic and no-fuss. Whether he intended to be overtly patriotic in his color choices, who knows, but it works!

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Best "Hey Everyone, I'm Really Pregnant!" Look: Amber Rose

Amber Rose has a pretty big baby bump, but that didn't keep her from picking a pretty, form-fitting high-necked black lace gown to wear on the red carpet! It was a little Morticia Adams, but it worked for her. 

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Worst Jumpsuit: Rita Ora

Rita Ora's bejeweled jumpsuit is blinding even through the computer screen! It just looks heavy and uncomfortable. The sheer plunging neckline doesn't make the outfit any better, either. Her hair and make-up are A+, but this outfit gets a much lower grade.

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Best Shoes: Zoe Saldana

Zoe Saldana's pale fringe-covered dress was cute, but her complicated-looking strappy Salvatore Ferragamo high-heeled sandals were super adorable!

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Best Matchy-Matchy Group Look: One Direction

Of course, One Direction looked all dapper and clean-cut in matching black and red ensembles. Though we were a bit puzzled by Niall Horan's simple red french undershirt. Is he supposed to be "the casual one?" Do they even have designated personalities?  We don't know, but they look nice as a group!
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