Pharrell's Qream with a Q
Geared toward women -- Pharrell claimed it was "lactose friendly" -- Qream launched last year and it's still wreaking havoc with spellcheck. We tried the strawberry flavor and tasted some Nesquik top-notes and a slight chalky after taste. Mmmm.
Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Head Vodka
Why isn't this more popular? Actually, we poured ours out, but kept the cool skull bottle.
Marilyn Manson's Absinthe Mansinthe
OMG, the walls are melting! And we almost set fire to our hair. Just kidding, after a few sips, we were like, "What's so bad about the music biz that makes artists want to plug booze?" Actually, never mind. We know the answer to that question.
Danny DeVito's Premium Limoncello
Props to the actor for having a sense of humor and turning a drunken (or "hungover") appearance on The View -- which he attributed to having imbibed too much limoncello the night before with George Clooney -- into a business opportunity. Too bad the result is said to be "lumpy."
Ludacris' Conjure Cognac
To be honest, we haven't tried the stuff but we love that the bio on the cognac site reads, "Chris [Ludacris] is a celebrated actor, businessman, entrepreneur, philanthropist and a connoisseur of fine cognac. He is as approachable and amiable as he is lauded." Uhh, aren't they missing something from that resumé?
Willie Nelson's Old Whiskey River Bourbon
Handcrafted in small batches in a Kentucky distillery, this one actually sounds pretty legit to us but it's a damn pity that the tasting notes don't include something slightly more, uh, herbal.
Lil Jon's Little Jonathan Winery
A man can only drink crunk juice for so long before he starts getting thirsty for something a little classier -- a "purple drank" 2.0, if you will. Thankfully, that's where Little Jonathan Winery (YES, THAT IS ITS NAME) comes in, a brand the rapper describes thusly: "My full name is Jonathan...The wine is more mature...a little bit more upscale than regular 'Lil Jon.'...This is not no ghetto Boone's Farm; this is some real wine."
Roberto Cavalli Vodka
Rappers and actors don't have a monopoly on the celebrity liquor market and the fashion designer's foray seems like a liquor that goes best with chest hair and a night at one of Berlusconi's "bunga bungas."
Francis Ford Coppola's Sofia Blanc de Blancs Sparkling Wine (In a Can)
We have to be honest and say that when we were in college, we thought this was a most classy and sophisticated beverage. And still kind of do, actually?
Justin Timberlake's 901 Silver Tequila
Named after JT's Memphis hometown's area code, this tequila has even impressed discerning NYC bartenders. And you know what? After the fourth shot, it really impressed us, too. (And then we started crying and tried to make out with the bottle.)