Herewith our 2012 Oscars Predictions Part I:
Most likely to wear sunglasses inside: Jack Nicholson
Most likely to be able to host this thing in his sleep: Billy Crystal (he's hosted EIGHT other times).
Most likely to fall asleep hosting this thing: Billy Crystal
Nominee most likely to give a polite 'Just Happy to Be Here' smile when the camera pans to him: Demián Bichir, up for Best Actor against George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Gary Oldman and Brad Pitt.
Most steely-eyed gaze: Tie. Rooney Mara and Angelina Jolie
Number of times an award winner will get flustered when the "hurry up" music comes on: 8
Most likely to look like a flawless, living doll: Michelle Williams
Most likely to poop on a picture of the Academy: Uggie the dog (who was snubbed for his supporting acting work in the Artist and wasn't even invited to the ceremony!).
Most likely to do the same old "lost in your eyes" red carpet pose they always do: George Clooney and Stacy Keibler
Number of times winners will tell their children to go bed: 11
Nominee most likely to say anything in their acceptance speech, even just, 'Thank you, good night,' and leave the audience utterly charmed: Christopher Plummer
Number of cutaways of Meryl Streep chuckling and warmly smiling: 6
Number of times mothers across the country will comment on actresses chewing gum: 355,675
Number of times someone will make a political statement in their acceptance speech: 4.
Most likely to photobomb someone on the red carpet: Melissa McCarthy
Number of times a winner will accidentally snub his/her spouse: 2
Minutes the Oscars will run over-time: 22 minutes
