1) David Letterman is marking 30 years as a late-night television host tonight but he isn't really doing much to celebrate. At least bring back the tea party monkeys for one night, Dave! [NYT]
2) Despite tabloid reports out today, Snooki is not pregnant. Everyone return those "Mommy's Lil' Meatball" onesies you just purchased from the Shore Store. [MTV]
3) Mitt Romney gets glitter bombed. [Buzzfeed]
4) A 'Shit People Say' search engine. [LaughingSquid]
5) Everyone's favorite NSFW Top Chef contestant (who also has the best name), Ty-Lör Boring, has a pop-up restaurant opening next week in New York. For $75, you'll be treated to a 5-course meal. Let's hope he's wearing chef's whites when he's in the kitchen. For tickets click here.
6) A kitten was born with two faces in Florida! [Huffington Post]
7) The British Fashion Council announced that Scottish print designer, Jonathan Saunders, is the winner of the BFC/Vogue Designer Fashion Fund.
8) A new NYC map shows how much energy your block consumes. [Gothamist]