Toddlers & Tiaras' Alana Is the Best/Worst Thing Ever

[Ed note: the original extended Toddlers & Tiaras segment has been removed, but the Best Week Ever cut above features everything you need/really don't need to see from Alana's episode]

This clip of six-year-old Toddlers & Tiaras subject Alana has been making the rounds online for the past few days, but, after having had the weekend to review and re-review it like 500 times, we've decided it's a must-share. Yes, Toddlers & Tiaras is a horrid show that glorifies child beauty pageants' unsettling obsession with making little girls look like 42-year-old Scottsdale trophy wives who've made terrible decisions in life. Little Alana, however, is the most dynamic and entertaining child we've seen on T&T in some time. Possibly ever. Our reasons:

1). She's brash and saucy in a non-bratty way and uses the phrase "honey boo-boo child" generously.
Seeing a child talk about how great the money is in pageant work is, of course, a pretty grim thing. But seeing a tiny moon-faced girl yell, "A dollar makes me holler, honey boo-boo!" is just funny.
2). One day, pageants will make her mother's hair fall out.
 Before she goes on stage, Alana gulps Mountain Dew, aka "Go-Go Juice," which her mom rationalizes as being better than giving her daughter Pixie Sticks, aka "Pageant Crack." In between shots of the girl spinning in circles in a trance-like fury, doing the Worm and generally jumping out of her skin, Alana explains that she likes Go-Go Juice because, "It makes me laugh-y, and play-y and it makes me feel like I want to pull my mommy's hair!"
3). She's confident.
After coming in third, she pulls up her shirt and squeezes her belly, marveling, "Look at this big thing! Those judges don't know a good thing when they see it." Indeed. 

Check out Alana in the clip above. She's way too entertaining and hilarious not to be destined for greatness, honey boo-boo child.

 
Via BUST,  Best Week Ever and RealityTV.GIFS.